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Satan's Directives for Christians

  • Make sure you only post sweet, nice things on the internet, make people feel good all the time.
  • Never tell anyone what they must do or be to go to Heaven.
  • Tell everyone they are good enough as they are - no need for following those "laws" in the Bible.
  • Never take a stand for anything or you will hurt other people's feelings.
  • Don't dress modest because you may offend someone with your holier than though attire.
  • Make sure you fit in as much as possible with unbelievers or they will think you are weird and you will never reach them for Christ that way.
  • Keep your friends after you are a Christian, continue to do the same activities with them and you will win them to God.
  • Get on social media and rant and rave about how bad the left is.
  • Talk bad about other Christians who are keeping God's commandments and call them Pharisees and mock them as legalists.
  • Make sure the music you listen to is hip so you can reach others in sin.
  • Don't worry about praying to God, just let your priest tell you what to do.
  • Make sure you follow popular Christian bloggers because they have so many followers they can't be wrong.
  • Pornography doesn't count as adultery.
  • Expose your flesh with minimal clothing, you are not at fault if men lust after you.
  • Watching sin on TV is not the same as doing it, so enjoy.
  • Movies are just entertainment and have no effect on you or your children's minds.
  • Spend your time fighting for statues, flags and political issues.
  • Refuse to bake homosexuals a cake, that will teach them.
  • Give your children access to the internet at all times, better yet, give them a phone with internet and make sure they have SnapChat.
  • Ask non-Christians for advice for your life, marriage and raising your children.
  • Wear the other gender's garments, it is acceptable now because everyone is doing it and God no longer views it as an abomination - trust me, He told me so.
  • God made a mistake in your gender, so you get to pick or even be genderless. 
  • Marriage is whatever you want it to be, have at it or don't and with whoever you want.
  • Prevent children at all costs and if one gets through, just have an abortion.
  • Focus on success - career, houses, lands, cars, wealth, etc.
  • Remember - you only need to say a prayer and you can toss your Bible away because there is nothing in there that you need to do - your good to go.