Sunday, December 10, 2017

Marriage 101 - Divorce and Remarriage

I'm not going to get into a war of the scriptures on this topic, as I believe, as with all things, there are some things that are the exception to the rule.  I also believe that God can allow whatever He will when He sees fit for each circumstance.  No one knows what goes on in a marriage, save the ones in it and God.  You have to be VERY careful when you make blanket judgements in this area.  I for one, believe it is solely between the individuals involved (husband and wife) and GOD - no one else.

Some possible exceptions:

  • Abuse from spouse - if the women (or man in rare cases) is being abused by the husband, I do not believe God would force this women to stay married to such a man, nor do I think she is doomed to a life of singleness if she leaves him.
  • Abuse of children - if the spouse is abusing the children, the other spouse should take the children away and protect them.  You can't tell me that God would make a woman stay with a man that is molesting his/her daughter!  You have to be pretty sick to believe that.
  • Arranged Marriages - this isn't common in our country but I do know people who were coerced into marrying someone they didn't want to.  I personally don't feel that the marriage is valid.  Things like this can happen in religious cults of all kinds or certain cultures.  I definitely do not feel that a child being "married" to an older man against her will (or even because she isn't old enough to understand what she is doing) is valid either.  These type of marriages are made out of control, manipulation or force.  How can they be valid?
  • Desertion - this is where a spouse leaves you or abandons you.  This could possibly include other things as well that indicate a spouse has deserted you.  There are those that you can not live peaceably with and it can cause you to even die emotionally, spiritually and shows up in the physical body.  I've heard from some Pastors that you can be "deserted" in these ways by a spouse.
  • Fornication/Adultery - most people believe you are free from your vow of marriage if the other commits sexual sin against you.  However, this also includes the mere thoughts as well, as Jesus Himself let the self-righteous Pharisees realize that lustful thoughts are also adultery. (Matt. 5:28)  Pornography is adultery (as well as covetousness and idolatry), as is lusting after someone who isn't your spouse.  There wouldn't be so many condemners of adultery and divorce if the self-righteous Pharisees realized their "private" adulterous thoughts are also guilty of the same.  I've found the men most vehement about those who commit adultery, are the very ones guilty of it in their minds.  Jesus realized that as well!  Who can really cast the stone!? (John 8:7)

What it all comes down to is that if it is a "sin" to divorce or even a "sin" to remarry - it is a good thing that God is in the business of forgiving sin!  There is only one sin that is unforgivable and that is the blaspheming of the Holy Ghost.  (Mark 3:29)

Why is it ok and "better to marry than to burn" when you are single but if you are divorced, you must burn away till you die?  No wonder people commit fornication. (1 Cor. 7:9)

YOU must stand before God and give account for YOUR life.  Your marriage, divorce and/or remarriage is between you and God, and you and God only.

Don't take other's condemnation to be the judge of your life and also don't even take other's acceptance to be the judge - judge yourself.

* Each spouse has a duty to the other and gross neglect could be considered a break in the vow. Love and forgiveness can keep couples together but when the other spouse isn't willing to change after knowing what they are doing is abusive or not fulfilling their duty, we enter new territory which the Bible doesn't include - that, along with numerous other exceptions to other topics, are not included in the Bible because if it was, it would be over 10,000 pages long!

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2 comments:

Diana said...

The arranged marriage part...whoa! I have been there, was in an arranged marriage, pretty much...could someone be coerced in to getting married?! Then to live with that person, who really never loved you, and try not to hate oneself???
When we finally started imagining and talking about divorce, we really felt like God was saying it's okay. That He knew exactly what we went through, and how we were match made, and that He would forgive us.

I do think about how a woman should remain unmarried, but and if she depart...or be reconciled, and reconciling is not nor will ever be an option, but I did have that God given, natural desire to be with a man of God that actually wants to be with me. Sounds so pitiful...but God knows and God still loves us.

Bev said...

Diana, so sorry what you went through! It truly is between you and God. I pray He gives you peace and healing.

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