A Good Wife

This has been floating around the internet for a few years and some say it came from a 1950's textbook, others claim it was from Canada. Wherever it is from, it has gotten a lot of controversy! From women scoffing at it and criticizing it, to men commenting "I WISH" my wife treated me that way, etc.

The sad thing is.....this IS a good example of what a GOOD WIFE should be and do. Not every detail of it is what I think should be done but for the most part it is. Scripture was added thanks to Bible Believer's and I have added my own "inserts" to some of the items.

1. Get your work done. Plan tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an hour before your husband is expected home. Your anguished cry "are you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.
"She...worketh willingly with her hands." ~ Proverbs 31:13

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking of him and are concerned for his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. (my insert - would you like to work for 8 hours a day and come home to no food? Come on WOMEN get in that kitchen and whip him up something good to eat and have it hot and ready when he comes home!)

"...She bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." ~ Proverbs 31:14,15

Prepare yourself. Take 15 min. to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up (my insert - you don't need to "paint" your face, you are fine the way you are!), put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

"She maketh herself covering of tapestry; he clothing is silk and purple. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come." ~ Proverbs 31:22,25

4. Clear away the children. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too.

"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." ~ Proverbs 31:27

Prepare the children. Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31:28

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate noise of washer dryer, dishwasher, vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

"And that ye study to be quiet..." ~ I Thessalonians 4:11

Be happy to see him. Greet him with a smile and act glad to see him. (my insert - Let him know he is wanted, loved, and appreciated for what he does! A man needs this!! He wants admiration, you should give it to him or he may go elsewhere to meet these needs.)

"...Her husband also, and he praiseth her." ~ Proverbs 31:28

Some dont's, don't greet him with a problem or complaint. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this minor compared with what he might have gone through during the day. (my insert - a good way to drive away your husband is to greet him each day he comes home with a list of to-do's and complaints. He will dread coming through that door! What we do, is when my husband comes home I scream "Daddy's HOME!!!!!!" Then me and my daughter race to the door to greet him, hug him and kiss him! He says he looks forward to that moment of walking through the door!)

"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her..." ~ Proverbs 31:11

9. Make him feel comfortable. Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillows and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax to unwind. (my insert - he has worked and slayed dragons so to speak for you to stay home and raise the children! Let him have his moment of solitude and relaxation, he has faced the "world" all day and wants to come home to some peace and quiet!)

"Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." ~ Proverbs 31:29

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." ~ Proverbs 31:26

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax. (my insert - a Godly husband and wife will work together to make sure BOTH parties are happy, this includes nights when husband is tired to put aside your wants and stay home and then also nights when you want to go out, he agrees and takes you. You should prefer one another)

"Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." ~ Proverbs 31:31

The goal, try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. (my insert - it should be his "castle")

"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." ~ Proverbs 31:12

Your Life Preaches ALL Week

Study universal holiness of life. Your whole
usefulness depends on this, for your sermons
last but an hour or two—your life preaches all
the week. If Satan can only make a covetous
minister a lover of praise, of pleasure, of good
eating—he has ruined his ministry.

Give yourself to prayer, and get your texts, your
thoughts, your words from God. In great measure,
according to the purity and perfections of the
instrument, will be success.

It is not great talents God blesses, so much
as great likeness to Jesus. A holy minister is
an awesome weapon in the hand of God.

Robert Murray M'Cheyne, 1813—1843


"...what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness"
2 Peter 3:11

Holiness is a very comprehensive word, and expresses
a state of mind and conduct that includes many things.

Holiness is the work of the Spirit in our sanctification.

Holiness is the fruit of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Holiness is the operation of the new nature, which
we receive in regeneration.

Holiness may be viewed in various aspects, according
to the different objects to which it relates.

Toward God, holiness is . . .
supreme love;
delight in His moral character;
submission to His will;
obedience to His commands;
zeal for His cause;
seeking of His glory.

Toward Christ, holiness is . . .
a conformity to His example,
imbibing His spirit.

Toward man, holiness is . . .

Toward sin, holiness is a hatred of all iniquity,
a tender conscience easily wounded by little sins,
and scrupulously avoiding them; together with a
laborious, painful, self-denying, mortification of
all the known corruptions of our heart.

Toward self, holiness is . . .
the control of our fleshly appetites;
the eradication of our pride;
the mortification of our selfishness.

Toward divine things in general, holiness is . . .
spirituality of mind,
the habitual current of godly thought,
godly affections flowing through the soul.

And, toward the objects of the unseen world,
holiness is heavenly-mindedness, a turning away
from things seen and temporal, to things unseen
and eternal.

Oh, what a word is holiness! How much does
it comprehend! How little is it understood, and
how much less is it practiced!

J.A. James - 1846

The Secret to Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

Let the past go, and be thankful you were able to survive it.

Let the present be, and be thankful you were able to endure it.

And let the future come, being thankful that you walk with a God that will give you the strength you will need to get through it.

10 Marks of a Flesh Pleaser

The signs of a flesh-pleaser or sensualist are these:
  1. When a man in his desire to please his appetite, does not do it with a view to a higher end, that is to say to the preparing himself for the service of God; but does it only for the delight itself. (Of course no one does every action consciously with a view to the service of God. Nevertheless, the general manner or habit of a life spent in the service of God is absent for the flesh-pleaser.)
  2. When he looks more eagerly and industriously after the prosperity of his body than of his soul.
  3. When he will not refrain from his pleasures, when God forbids them, or when they hurt his soul, or when the necessities of his soul call him away from them. But he must have his delight whatever it costs him, and is so set upon it, that he cannot deny it to himself.
  4. When the pleasures of his flesh exceed his delights in God, and his holy word and ways, and the expectations of endless pleasure. And this not only in the passion, but in the estimation, choice, and action. When he had rather be at a play, or feast, or other entertainment, or getting good bargains or profits in the world, than to live in the life of faith and love, which would be a holy and heavenly way of living.
  5. When men set their minds to scheme and study to make provision for the pleasures of the flesh; and this is first and sweetest in their thoughts.
  6. When they had rather talk, or hear, or read of fleshly pleasures, than of spiritual and heavenly delights.
  7. When they love the company of merry sensualists, better than the communion of saints, in which they may be exercised in the praises of their Maker.
  8. When they consider that the best place to live and work is where they have the pleasure of the flesh. They would rather be where they have things easy, and lack nothing for the body, rather than where they have far better help and provision for the soul, though the flesh be pinched for it.
  9. When he will be more eager to spend money to please his flesh than to please God.
  10. When he will believe or like no doctrine but "easy-believism," and hate mortification as too strict "legalism." By these, and similar signs, sensuality may easily be known; indeed, by the main bent of the life.
by Richard Baxter 1615-1691

Much Activity but Little Fruit

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

It's possible for us to labor in the Lord (1 Cor. 15:58). It's also possible for us to labor in the flesh. We can become so wrapped up and entangled in all of our activities that we run to and fro in the energy of the flesh. We seemingly are accomplishing much, but in the eyes of God we are accomplishing nothing.

We can get so wrapped up in "serving the Lord" that we forget the Lord we are serving (Luke 10:38-42). We need to STOP and BE STILL before our God (Ps. 46:10), remembering the sobering words of our Saviour: "without Me ye can do NOTHING" (John 15:5). Out of resting and abiding in the Lord flows service for the Lord.

It is impossible to please the Lord in the flesh (Rom. 8:8), and it is a shame for the believer to walk in the flesh because "ye are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you" (Rom. 8:9). Except the Lord build the house (Ps. 127:1), all of our labor is vanity. We need to be careful that we count fruit as God does. A fruitful day to us may be quite unfruitful as God sees it. There's coming a day when we will discover how God counts fruit: "every man's work shall be made manifest; for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire" (1 Cor. 3:13).

Do we include God in all our activities or do we leave Him out? Is He in all our thoughts? Do we include Him in our plans (cf. James 4:13-17)? How great is the sin of independence manifested by the attitude of heart that says, "Who needs God?" (Ps. 2:3)! HOW great is the man who has learned to be dependent and who fears doing anything if the Lord is not in it!

God has told us what He desires and demands with respect to our relationship with Himself: "for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you" (1 Th. 5:16-18).

Let's test ourselves:

Is my daily walk characterized by an attitude of constant rejoicing regardless of circumstances (verse 16)?

Do I enjoy a God-consciousness and a God-awareness and a God-dependence throughout the day (verse 17)?

Do I manifest a thankful spirit regardless of what state I am in (verse 18)?

As we honor and acknowledge Christ in all our ways (Prov. 3:5-6; Col. 1:18), we can have the joy and confidence that comes from knowing that our labor is not in vain in the Lord! May we be sitting in His presence (Luke 10:39), standing upon His Word (1 Cor. 16:13), walking in His holiness (1 Pet. 1:14-16) and running in His service (1 Cor. 15:58), all for His glory, now and forevermore, AMEN!

Taken from Middletown Church with permission