There was a housewife I once knew
Who had so much work that she wanted to do.
She had eight loads of laundry to wash and to dry,
Five beds to make and groceries to buy.
Library books three years overdue,
She thought, "Go to the library? No, let's go to the zoo."
"Hurray!" cried her children. But, alas, they stayed home.
The eight loads of laundry had all the clothes that they owned.
She had dishes from dinner the night before
And gum to scrape off the kitchen floor.
And just as she knelt to scrape up the gum,
She thought about popcorn and she wanted some.
So she got out the popper; it was full of rice.
And she thought to herself, "It would be nice
To get out the pictures of my wedding dress,"
But she couldn't find them because of the mess
In her living room where she kept a shelf
Full of books on how to improve herself.
So she picked out a book and she sat and she read.
And she thought to herself, "I'll take a nap instead."
So she stretched and she yawned and flopped into bed.
Then she remembered something her husband had said.
So she got out the iron and she looked for his shirt
Which had fallen into a pile of dirt
She had swept in a corner a few days before
And she had stopped because someone had knocked at the door.
Then she sighed, "Oh dear!" and she moaned, "Poor me!"
And she grabbed a sack of taco chips and turned on the TV.
And she watched all the game shows.
And she watched Love of Life.
And she dreamed of becoming the perfect wife!
~From Sidetracked Home Executives