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Mailbag: Question & Answer Part 2

Question #3
What do you think about unmarried women working? Like, a teenager that wants to work, or a single woman, or a woman working to help save money in order to get married. 

Answer
My opinion on this has changed over the years and my husband and I view the family in a different way than most in society today.  This is a personal conviction, meaning - I don't hold others to this but its purely what God has convicted our family of following.

With girls, who eventually become women, God never intended for her to be what I call "headless".  Headless meaning without a head.  She begins under her Father and then should not leave his headship until she is married and is under her husband's headship.  If she follows this, she would never need to work on a job.  With boys, its quite different - they are destined to work on a job, so therefore when we have a boy, it will be a different for him.

Note - just wanted to insert this here because someone had even told us this years ago.  Some suggest that the Pastor is the head of the single women in the church.  I totally disagree with this and if anyone is her head it is Christ.  If anything, those that teach this are often very controlling to say that the single women should submit to him, when he is neither their father or their husband.  He should be promoting submission to Christ not himself.  For a minister of God to tell parents that their daughters are under him when she turns 18 is disgusting to say the least!  Pastors don't tell our daughters what to do, we do as parents.  My husband is her head until she is married and then her husband is her head.  The Biblical model tells us that the women should ask their husband questions at home - notice how it never instructed her to follow another man but her husband!  The husband is the representative and sole authoritarian of each family.  A true, Godly Pastor will not overstep this boundary because the Bible clearly instructs the woman is in submission to her OWN husband only.  SO much more to say here, maybe I will do a post on Biblical headship soon if time permits.

We don't agree with society's rule that when the girl is 18, she is out on her own to fend for herself.  Society doesn't make our families' rules.  Until our daughter is married, she will remain in our home under her father's headship.  We are planning on starting college courses online when she is 16 or later, depending upon her abilities.  If she wishes too, I would allow her to work for her father or tutor/teach others for income to save for a vehicle, future, etc.  She is a maiden in waiting as she is home with us, until her future husband will come and marry her.  There is an excellent book that I own called "Raising Maidens of Virtue" and it truly fits with this model and teaching our girls to not have a worldly view but a Godly view.

There is always the exception in homes where God is not present but then why would they even follow the Bible if they are not Christians?  The Bible is the Christian's guide for life.

For single women, who may be widows or came from homes that were un-Christian and therefore escaped those environments......if they are Christian women, the following is my opinion concerning these.  They must work to survive, but their ultimate goal should be what the Bible taught these women to do: marry, bear children and guide the house.  She should seek to marry and not live the single life, so that takes care of the working only being temporary.

As far as widows go, I would expect the family of the widow to support her if she is completely unable to work for herself and if she has no family and meets the Bible requirements for a widow indeed - then the church would take care of her.  Notice that Paul said in that passage that it was for the younger.  Maybe the 90yr old widow can't find a man to marry her, so what is she to do? The older could be great teachers with their wealth of wisdom that's for sure!

In the olden days, and even in some Amish circles today, only the single women work as teachers at the schoolhouse and when they would marry, they would be replaced with another single woman.  Being a teacher would be one of the occupations I could support my daughter in if she went years without finding a husband.  I would want her to teach in a place that supported God though, not the corrupt public school system!  Something like a Christian school or even tutoring or teaching piano, etc.

My opinions may change as the years go by but one thing will not change and that is the role of women according to the Bible - to marry, bear children and guide the house; keep the home, love their husbands and chidren, etc.  God's word never changes!  Society changes, but God does not.  We know what our daughters should be upon marriage, but before that, in my opinion, is something that lies upon the personal conviction of each family.