Tuesday, June 12, 2012

When Birth Control is Needed

It doesn't matter how many times I post on hot topics, such as birth control, I always seem to confuse some. I've posted a lot in the past 5 years on this blog about birth control and I believe my *own* personal beliefs have been well stated but I can see where someone can misinterpret and think I'm making blanket statements.  So I wanted to do a post to tell you where I believe birth control is needed, as it sometimes is in marriage, for various reasons.  Ultimately, it is between you and your husband before God what you do or don't do, but this is my blog, therefore I share my beliefs in hopes to make you think or challenge your own ideas.

Birth control such as hormonal therapies with the pill, IUD's, Depo-shot, etc. are NEVER ok as they have a chance of killing a baby, and that is documented fact.  However, there are many other safe birth control options such as withdrawal, timing/calendar and other methods that will NEVER kill a baby.  There are times when they are needed and times when they are used because the risk of having a child is far too great for the mother or family.  I believe God wants us to use wisdom and plan even our families.  Yes, it is ultimately up to Him, but killing yourself in the name of God is not Godly wisdom, let me explain.

Some reasons birth control may or is needed:

  • Medically necessary - the mother or even father may have medical reasons for preventing offspring, such as carrying on a disease that is genetic or when it is not safe for the mother.  If the mother's life would be in danger or made worse, wisdom says use your brain!  If I knew I was going to die if I had another child, I wouldn't tempt the Lord by going ahead and getting pregnant.  It is making you just as much as murderer as you would be if you had an abortion, in my opinion.  Also, waiting at least 2 years after a c-section for healing is recommended before your body is fully capable again to conceive and not risk your health.  I can't tell you how many times we used birth control methods in times I was very ill, hospitalized and on drugs that would have killed a baby had I gotten pregnant, so wisdom in these situations say prevent!
  • Financially incapable - if you can't even feed yourself and your husband and live off government assistance, as a Christian, why would you bring a child into the world not being able to pay for it yourself?  Too many Christians err in this area as God's Word teaches against living off others but rather eating your own bread, working and providing for your OWN.  Having children in addition to this and living off the government to pay for those children is in itself stealing and brings shame to the gospel.
  • Unloving mother - there are just some women who hate children and refuse to have children and I believe they should continue to use birth control methods.  Having a child we would hope would change these women but if they are bent on treating them as little nuisances, I think it is best they keep themselves purposely barren.  Too many mothers today, even in Christian circles, constantly talk about how bad their children are, how much of a bother they are, how they can't wait to send them off to school to get 'rid' of them and have their "free" time - these women should probably just stay childless, it would be better off that children are not brought up in this kind of verbal abuse and lack of Godly, motherly love!
  • Husbands decision - when one parent, even husband, doesn't want a child, why would you go ahead and have one?  The child will feel it is unwanted, you can't hide those feelings as they come out in the things you do or say to a child you didn't want.  If the husband declares he wants no children or no more children, the wife should respect his decision as the leader of the home.

Those are just a few of my thoughts on when birth control is needed, with the first one being the most obvious reason.  If after this pregnancy, I realize that another one could endanger my health and life, I'm not going to tempt God by going ahead and getting pregnant again.  Rather, I will take my husband's decision and own wisdom, coupled with prayer, and make a decision.

Having a child is a choice, God leaves it up to us as we are free moral agents, no longer under the law but having freedom to choose our way in life.  However, He will never stand for killing a baby through abortion or birth control and the hateful rhetoric against children and views of them as nuisances, which is not inspired by God but rather Satan who loves to speak against God's creation.  God Himself counts them as a blessing and we should as well, our hearts should be open to children, even if we are barren!  You never know when someone you know or a member of your family may die or become incapable of taking care of their children and need you step in and be that parent.  Adoption should be something most Christians race to, but sadly, there are more homosexuals fulfilling that call of caring for the orphans.  Having a heart always open to children should be inside every woman, as women are made to be mothers and loving, caring, nurturing souls - it is what God created us for.

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Angie, Independent Beachbody Coach said...

I'm glad I found this. I always thought this was a wisdom thing. Lately, I have been feeling very badly about myself because I don't feel I am able to have another baby at this time. I felt God might be mad or angry with me about it. I have one daughter, and I had a rather scary pregnancy and delivery with her. I'm trying to get my weight under control and our bills caught up. We are very behind on our bills because my husband is the only one that works. My husband has said that he didn't want anymore for now, but possibly in the future. We use natural methods of family planning, but I just didn't want God upset with me, but I didn't want to sit around having child after child that I was unable to care for or put my emotionally health at risk again. I am open to more children in the future, if it is God's will. I guess He will tell me when the right time is, if He has plans for more. Thanks for your input. It helped me.

Anonymous said...

Just remember that ultimately is up to you but you won't always be promised that you will conceive later on. I wish I would have not waited in the first part of our marriage as I spent the past few years not being able to conceive. Praying and finding God's will for you is key! Thanks for the comment! :)

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