Proverbs 32
1 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. And she will remind you of that worth every day until death do you part.
2 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. If he does she will remind him of how worthless he is or has become.
3 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. That is unless she is scorned and then all bets are off.
4 She looks for wool and flax, And works with her hands in delight. But you must tell her how much she is appreciated and daily is recommended. Otherwise delight turns into bitterness.
5 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar as long as it isn't too far and takes too much of the day.
6 She rises also while it is still night, And gives food to her household, And portions to her maidens. So when she is cranky by the time you get home... you need to understand.
7 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. Then she will make sure others know that it is her labor and has nothing to do with you.
8 She girds herself with strength, And makes her arms strong as long as she doesn't have anything physically wrong with her. Then this isn't applicable.
9 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. Not until she is good and ready to turn it off.
10 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. She then realizes that she's forgotten how to sew and gets upset because she hasn't the extra money to buy that outfit she saw in the store the other day.
11 She extends her hand to the poor; And she stretches out her hands to the needy. As long as they aren't too poor and needy. That would require adding another entree and one might have to wait a whole 20 minutes for something to thaw in the microwave.
12 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. But if it rains and they don't wipe off their shoes and track mud in the house... they just don't care.
13 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. She just needs a lot of linen and looks like Barney because she has just let herself go over the years and now she can't get rid of the weight at all.
14 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. They will never forget the "ON STRIKE" sign that was in the front lawn.
15 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. Then gets with the women and complains about how she has to do all of this because the dear husband isn't cutting the mustard.
16 Strength and dignity she does not know, And she cries loudly at the future.
17 She opens her mouth in folly, And the teaching of bitterness is on her tongue.
18 She looks to the ways of her household, shakes her head and then lies down..
19 Her children rise up and can't wait to find the door; Her husband only likes the door from the inside and trembles when he sees it from the outside, and he avoids her, saying:
20 "Many daughters have done nobly, But you... what can I do to please you."
21 And beware of the hissy fit. No man likes it when that happens.
Author Unknown