Monday, September 5, 2011

A Change of Heart

The past few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life and a time or two, I had wanted to request prayer even on this blog for my husband and I.  However, through all of it, God was showing me that I needed to stand more steadfast than I have ever stood before!  There is so much He has taught me and I feel like I've taken some giant steps in God this past week than I have in a long time.  I just wanted to share and you might not understand because I'm not giving the whole story of what was involved but maybe you can relate in some way:

  1. Not to care what he said/she said - you know its mostly SHE said LOL.  Come on ladies, women are emotional and some act like children when they get their feelings hurt.
  2. Stand up to others about their criticism when needed - not in a harsh, critical way but rather telling them for example "Hey, I get it that homeschool isn't your thing, so you can please stop reminding me every time you see me?  If you can't keep it to yourself, maybe we shouldn't hang out anymore." or "Can you just stop talking about how you are doing more for God because you are preventing children?  I get it that you don't share my views so its probably best you don't talk about it when you around me." 
  3. Stand up to others that are busybodies - simply start saying that is none of your business.
  4. Tell the devil to shut up more!! - I think a lot of times I let what others say to me or about me get to me too much and I'm going to start telling the devil to shut up more!  When comments or insults are made against you or something you do, you know its the devil trying to get to you, don't let him!
  5. Stand alone if need be - my husband and I are learning that God wants us to just stand for our convictions, even if it means alone sometimes and to lay low, so to speak, and let God handle it.  I think this may be my greatest victory lately - realizing that God called me to homeschool, that I'm one of the nutty KJV only's, I won't take an abortion pill to keep God's blessings away and that I don't care what others say or think about that.  I would rather go overboard for God than come up short.  I learned that God gave us these convictions and he wants us to keep them, no matter who insults, ridicules or doesn't agree - we are steadfast and not wavering for ANYONE.  Anyone can stand with a group, but who can stand when you are seemingly the only one holding onto a certain conviction?  Will you stand with Jesus or will you cower to the crowd?  An amazing test for us and I'm glad to say we're passing it, thanks to Jesus!
  6. Pray more for my enemies - for those that think a certain way about me, criticize me and treat me unfairly - I'm going to start praying more for them.
  7. Stop analyzing others - you may not get this one but all through my life I realized from not only what I know about myself but from those that have known me well have said - I'm a left-brainer!  I have a strong analytical mind, I understand a lot of times more than the average person but it has become a problem for me.  I honestly see some people's situations clearly and solutions but I have to realize they don't and my brain is better spent on my own family and life.  Out of wanting to help a friend, I've gotten met with defensiveness and that is when I realized - its time to stop trying to help everyone see what I do.  A man of God was the last to tell me this about myself and after hearing my husband and parents say it for years, I finally accepted that I was different than most.  Now, I'm on a road to learning how to understand right-brain dominant people and let my friends have their problems and flaws, without analyzing it and showing them how to fix it.  I will reserve that for those that ASK me too lol. ;-)
  8. Let things roll off like water off a duck's back - I tend to analyze as I said above, which is good for things in my life but not for things that others say that hurt.  I need to learn the skill of, as soon as I hear it, to let it roll off of me like water off a duck's back.  Tell the devil to go away, pray to God for help and pray in the Holy Spirit for strength.  Then if it comes back in my mind later, to shoot it down again and do the 3 steps above.  I'm sure I could figure out a lot of things from analyzing what someone said to hurt me but what does it profit but more hurt to me?  It's time to let things go......

I'm sure there will be more, but for now I'm learning more about my mind and the left-brain dominance that has pervaded me most of my life.  I'm so thankful to the man of God that actually came out and said it because he made me feel that I'm not some problem, but rather that I don't use the same of the brain that most people do lol.  If only my prior pastors would have said this in my life, I may have had this breakthrough years ago but I suppose through it all - I learned to trust in Jesus!  Now, I'm on a new road to understanding myself more and realizing others don't analyze like I do, they don't see things like I do and they probably won't care that I'm left-brain dominant!  My husband does though, he knows me so well and once we started reading about my mind, he knew and I knew that was me!  

I also prayed for God to give me something to do to distract me lately from all that is going on and He did!  I'm partaking in one of the largest cases in our state and I can't say much more but God answered my prayer and its something that a left-brain dominant, analytical mind is perfect for! ;-)

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Tricia said...

I'm also a left-brainer,lol!! Good for you and your hubby for remaining steadfast for Him. It is hard when others don't see things as you do and have to say negative things. I agree, it IS the devil! My hubby and I are in the process of trying to find more like minded families to get together with. Hopefully, we will find some in the new church we have been attending. P.S. I am more than willing to pray for you and your family, just as you have for me! =)

Anonymous said...

That is awesome Tricia! Left-brainers unite hehe. =0 Thank you so much for the prayers, we really do need them!

We are starting to attend a lot of homeschool conventions and picnics to meet like-minded families for encouragement.


Anonymous said...

I can relate to so many things that you mentioned..these are lessons I have learned in my own way this past year.

I like what you said..."I rather go overboard for God than comeup short." Wow!! Great.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it amazing that even though it seems like it may be the end of the world sometimes in our battles, that we can look back (sometimes during the battle) and see that God is perfecting us through them!? Of course sometimes, it isn't the way I want it to go haha, but if we are never tested, how will we ever know our true character? I've failed the tests a lot of times but lately I was winning some and it feels good!!


Linda said...

Hi, Bev. I read some of the things that you said in your new post and in this one. I will pray for you that God will give you strength and the faith He so desires to keep on standing for what you know God wants You to do and be. You have been off and on in my thoughts since I ran upon your blog several years ago. My heart feels with yours because I know what you are trying to say. I really do. There truly is a freedom that comes from walking by Faith. I didn't realize this kind of Faith until I begin to walk according to the convictions of my heart and not the set standards of a church. God does not lead us stray, but man in all their good endevours and perhaps good intentions can. Hold on to those convictions because God doesn't lead us astray. Hold on even if the Pope sort of speak doesn't agree. :O)


Anonymous said...

Thanks Linda! :) Yes, I've been learning for years to direct my faith, convictions, approval and beliefs from God foremost. By the trials we have gone through we have learned that God just wants us to trust HIM. I just came to the place where I accepted that we are different than most in some things but we won't change what we know God wants us to do. There are those that share our views but they are small in number. I don't understand everything but I know that God does and what He wants to do with my husband and I, only time will tell!


Aimee2728 said...

Right there with you on a lot of this too, sister.  I was recently refreshed when learning about the right/left brain in a marriage seminar.  The teaching was very straight forward and quite humorous when looking at it in light of our marriage!    So many things that seemed crazy to my husband (even me sometimes) were/ are still due to my right brain/ yet very analytical thinking... Some people are a combination of both (might be why I am as confused as I am without God's help).

I appreciate you,  Thank you for writing this down.  It helps put things more into perspective.  We are not alone in these battles.  I am praying for you.  It is very comforting to know as was preached Thursday night Jesus is interceding for us as well.  God bless you sis!  

Anonymous said...

Thanks Aimee for sharing that! Yes, we all use both sides of our brains but one will be dominant to varying degrees. I have the creative side of me that I use right brain for, but mostly I thrive on analytical, orderly, logical things.


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