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A Change of Heart

The past few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life and a time or two, I had wanted to request prayer even on this blog for my husband and I.  However, through all of it, God was showing me that I needed to stand more steadfast than I have ever stood before!  There is so much He has taught me and I feel like I've taken some giant steps in God this past week than I have in a long time.  I just wanted to share and you might not understand because I'm not giving the whole story of what was involved but maybe you can relate in some way:

  1. Not to care what he said/she said - you know its mostly SHE said LOL.  Come on ladies, women are emotional and some act like children when they get their feelings hurt.
  2. Stand up to others about their criticism when needed - not in a harsh, critical way but rather telling them for example "Hey, I get it that homeschool isn't your thing, so you can please stop reminding me every time you see me?  If you can't keep it to yourself, maybe we shouldn't hang out anymore." or "Can you just stop talking about how you are doing more for God because you are preventing children?  I get it that you don't share my views so its probably best you don't talk about it when you around me." 
  3. Stand up to others that are busybodies - simply start saying that is none of your business.
  4. Tell the devil to shut up more!! - I think a lot of times I let what others say to me or about me get to me too much and I'm going to start telling the devil to shut up more!  When comments or insults are made against you or something you do, you know its the devil trying to get to you, don't let him!
  5. Stand alone if need be - my husband and I are learning that God wants us to just stand for our convictions, even if it means alone sometimes and to lay low, so to speak, and let God handle it.  I think this may be my greatest victory lately - realizing that God called me to homeschool, that I'm one of the nutty KJV only's, I won't take an abortion pill to keep God's blessings away and that I don't care what others say or think about that.  I would rather go overboard for God than come up short.  I learned that God gave us these convictions and he wants us to keep them, no matter who insults, ridicules or doesn't agree - we are steadfast and not wavering for ANYONE.  Anyone can stand with a group, but who can stand when you are seemingly the only one holding onto a certain conviction?  Will you stand with Jesus or will you cower to the crowd?  An amazing test for us and I'm glad to say we're passing it, thanks to Jesus!
  6. Pray more for my enemies - for those that think a certain way about me, criticize me and treat me unfairly - I'm going to start praying more for them.
  7. Stop analyzing others - you may not get this one but all through my life I realized from not only what I know about myself but from those that have known me well have said - I'm a left-brainer!  I have a strong analytical mind, I understand a lot of times more than the average person but it has become a problem for me.  I honestly see some people's situations clearly and solutions but I have to realize they don't and my brain is better spent on my own family and life.  Out of wanting to help a friend, I've gotten met with defensiveness and that is when I realized - its time to stop trying to help everyone see what I do.  A man of God was the last to tell me this about myself and after hearing my husband and parents say it for years, I finally accepted that I was different than most.  Now, I'm on a road to learning how to understand right-brain dominant people and let my friends have their problems and flaws, without analyzing it and showing them how to fix it.  I will reserve that for those that ASK me too lol. ;-)
  8. Let things roll off like water off a duck's back - I tend to analyze as I said above, which is good for things in my life but not for things that others say that hurt.  I need to learn the skill of, as soon as I hear it, to let it roll off of me like water off a duck's back.  Tell the devil to go away, pray to God for help and pray in the Holy Spirit for strength.  Then if it comes back in my mind later, to shoot it down again and do the 3 steps above.  I'm sure I could figure out a lot of things from analyzing what someone said to hurt me but what does it profit but more hurt to me?  It's time to let things go......

I'm sure there will be more, but for now I'm learning more about my mind and the left-brain dominance that has pervaded me most of my life.  I'm so thankful to the man of God that actually came out and said it because he made me feel that I'm not some problem, but rather that I don't use the same of the brain that most people do lol.  If only my prior pastors would have said this in my life, I may have had this breakthrough years ago but I suppose through it all - I learned to trust in Jesus!  Now, I'm on a new road to understanding myself more and realizing others don't analyze like I do, they don't see things like I do and they probably won't care that I'm left-brain dominant!  My husband does though, he knows me so well and once we started reading about my mind, he knew and I knew that was me!  

I also prayed for God to give me something to do to distract me lately from all that is going on and He did!  I'm partaking in one of the largest cases in our state and I can't say much more but God answered my prayer and its something that a left-brain dominant, analytical mind is perfect for! ;-)