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I Know "Her".........

Years ago when I first became a Christian and got married, I had anticipated having children.  Upon voicing this, I was told that I would go to hell if I had a child because my husband was called to preach and a child would hinder his ministry.  (He was told he was called at that time but God is the only one who has the power to call and he will tell us if we are!)  This was tragic for me as I had always desired children, but upon hearing it from someone I trusted, I submitted and tried to quell the desire inside me for three years.  It was many nights of crying and forcing myself into submission because this must be what God wants I thought.  Then, we started learning that a lot of things we were taught by that individual were not correct.  Up came the hope that maybe I could have a child without risking my eternal future or "hindering" things.

So, I asked the question and was covered in sympathy as the pastor told me that I would NOT go to hell for having a child and it had nothing to do with hindering my husband or the ministry.  However, I couldn't even trust his answer, I didn't trust anyone anymore.  One night while sitting on my couch, I asked God to just show me someway or somehow that it was ok and that I could let go of the fear of "putting a child before God."  It was then that I felt the Holy Spirit and as I remember it, started crying and this verse jumped out at me on the page:

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. ~Genesis 18:19

I knew beyond any doubts that God was giving me His blessing to conceive.  God KNEW me!  God knew that I would raise children up in His ways and to do His will!  It was so moving for me and something I haven't forgotten.  No man or woman could ever tell you different, once you've had an experience like that!

After receiving that from the Lord, we made an appointment with my OB-GYN doctor to find out what we needed to do to prepare for pregnancy.  What happened next shook my world up again.  I was told that I may actually be sterile and even if I could conceive, it would probably take about two years.  I was devastated and hurt.  I called out to God, questioning all this as He had just given us His blessing for children and I couldn't understand this.  We tried anyway but I didn't believe I would get pregnant.

A preacher came to preach a revival at our church weeks later.  He was preaching a message so strong about how God was saying "TRUST ME!"  He said it over and over and God reached down and squeezed my heart so strong.  As he preached, I felt that I was pregnant, the baby was inside me at that moment and as the preacher echoed the words, "TRUST ME," I decided to trust God that I was.  After that, I shared with his wife about how I was believing I was pregnant, even though the doctors told me it was most likely not probable.  She seemed sincerely happy for me as she saw my bright eyes of desire for a child.

I was pregnant!  I had actually been 5 weeks pregnant already and we had conceived the first time we tried, despite the doctor's dismal outlook.  During that message from God of "TRUST ME," I was pregnant!  Katie was in my belly all that time and all I had to do was trust completely in God and not man, not a doctor, not anyone but God.

God had given me a blessing!  That is why I'm so adamant in my standing up for women desiring children and those that may try and stop God's blessings.  I'm here to tell you today that God wants to bless you!  Give it to God and TRUST HIM!