Saturday, April 18, 2015

Part 1 "The Why" for Women - Living On One Income

I'm starting a series about Living On One Income in hopes of helping those that are on the fence about doing so and continuing to encourage and help those that are doing so. Obviously you know that we live on one income, my husband's, and I'm a homekeeper. The first post in this series is going to be about “why” you should live on one income as a Christian woman.

God intended for women to marry, bear children and keep the home and that is a full-time commitment. When you step outside of God's design, you live on the arm of flesh financially as you don't really 'need' God anymore in that regard. You also forsake what scripture told you not to – bearing children and loving your husband.

Titus 2:4-5
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1 Timothy 5:14
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house...

I've talked to MANY women over the years that are older than me, even my own mother and these women have come to the place of being able to admit their regrets of not doing God's Word. They have grown children that want nothing to do with them or have distant relationships because they weren't really there for them growing up. They were off working on a job and their child(ren) came home to an empty house. When mom did come home, she was grumpy and tired and the last thing she wanted to do was cook, clean or spend time with her children. All she can do is collapse from fatigue, agonize over everything that had to be done and feel the guilt pour over her that she couldn't be more. It is one thing to be forced into this life by being a single mother but it is another thing to CHOOSE it as a married woman. We will have to give an account for how we spent our lives, time and obedience to God's Word and order for the family.

If I could turn back time... as the song goes. I hear it all the time from mothers telling me to keep doing what I'm doing and how they wish they could have done the same. They would give anything to go back and have that time with their children and not just their children but also their husband, who was also neglected. Do they remember the “stuff” they bought with the money they made? No. Most of the time the women I talk to, remember the TIME they were NOT there when they should have been. That is a miserable life to live in your later years – years of regret that God has to heal. I've always said that I want to be in my rocking chair when I'm old and smile on all those memories of me and my children and husband – all the fun we had, meals I prepared out of love, special treats I made for them that lit up their faces, being available for my husband and how I taught my children their education and raised them up in God's Word. Stuff won't matter then – it will be the memories and hopefully, my children and their children around me and seeing the legacy live on.

So, what is it mom that drives you to work? Most say it is because they “have to” and we all know that isn't true because you are surrounded by so many that make it and what about God - does He not provide anymore? Isn't it rather greed? Money for what? More stuff. Or maybe you say it is because you need to feel a “purpose” in life. Since when is God's purpose of being a wife, mother and homekeeper not enough for you? Who are you listening to? Others will say it is because they can't stand their kids. Well, that is easy to fix – if you were the parent that you are supposed to be and trained your children properly, you would LOVE to be around them!! People that say they can't stand their kids are really saying that they choose to not train them to be loveable kids or maybe their children are acting out because they are not receiving the attention they need. Or maybe sometimes it is in the mirror – they are mimicking you and that is what you cannot stand.

Those are all excuses because it isn't money you need, it isn't more greed you need, it isn't a purpose you need or to get away from your children – it comes down to needing to be who you were made to be and you will never be happy (now or when you are older) until you fulfill your God-given role.

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Mrs. Chrissy T said...

Very good and it is the Biblical Way and even though I had to go to work for a bit I am thankful to be able to come home again. I fought this fight as a homemaker. I stayed at home from the time my oldest turned 2. And haven't looked back until last year when for personal reasons I had to go to work at the Christian School. Although, I love what I do, it has been very hard. You know. I believe in what the Word says that a woman is suppose to do. It saddens me others do not. I have been a homemaker and a full time worker and Pastors Wife and I know God does not desire me out of the home.

Christian Homekeeper said...

I worked when we got married as I was still in the military but was so happy when I got out and was able to stay home! We came to a rough time when were 24 and my husband started working a second job delivering newspapers. (This was in Alaska and paid $800 a month at that time) I went with him and we delivered newspaper from 3 to almost 6 every morning, even weekends. My sleep was so off and I could barely even take care of myself and my daughter, who was a baby. No matter what, it seemed like something always took our money and it fell through our hands. We realized that we were relying on the arm of flesh and that I should have been home. We learned the hard way and our marriage almost didn't make it but I'm so glad we DID learn those lessons because it changed us. It would be years later before I finally became the wife I was supposed to be though by God's grace.

A lot of churches today do not teach it and it used to not have to be taught because all women stayed at home until the war. My church does teach the proper roles but I know of other holiness churches that do not. Then, some Baptist churches teach it and others do not and on and on. Good thing is - God teaches it LOL! :-) And for most of time - it was just what was normal.

Tricia said...

Hi Bev,
I have been at home for 13 years now and LOVE it! Unfortunately, due to extreme budget cuts to Human and Social Services by our new Governor my husband will be losing his job of 23 years in 2 weeks. Any advice on how to deal with a husband's job loss?

Christian Homekeeper said...

I'm so sorry about that Tricia and I received a similar question the Q&A that I was going to answer in a future post, not sure if that was you but my answer would be first of all, PRAY! God will open another door where it was closed I believe. Next, seeing that he has 23 years experience, he will probably be able to find another good job I assume in his field. A possible move to another state or area to find a job may be something you need to pray about. Did you prepare for something like this? I know that is what is optimal but most people aren't prepared for these things. He would need to find another job soon but in the meantime draw his unemployment compensation, which he paid a lot into over the years. Pray, pray, pray and trust God to meet the needs and it doesn't hurt to encourage your husband to be proactive and find another job - who knows, he may find one that is better!

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