Sunday, April 19, 2015

Part 2 "The Why" for Men - Living On One Income

In Part 1, we talked about "the why" for women and now in Part 2, we will discuss "the why" for men.  I know that this is a blog for women but believe it or not, I do have male readers.  I'm mostly blogging this for women but hey, the men need to hear this too, especially in this effeminate society we have today.

I'm going to be very blunt here, so if you get offended, consult God's Word and then tell Him off.  There is no way around it - a real man, a real husband, will not put his wife on a job.  *dodging rocks*  I remember a preacher that used to say that you shouldn't prostitute your wife out on a job and that has a lot of truth to it.  Men throughout time took care of their families.  At some point in American society, most likely when women became domineering, men lessened their manhood.  Throughout all time, wives were a "help meet" to their husbands by keeping the home, bearing and raising their children and making a home of peace as a resting place from their husband's daily work outside the home.

A man should provide for his family, he shouldn't depend on his wife helping out.  A real man, that has a pair as the saying goes, will be man enough to provide enough.  He doesn't need his wife to bring in income, he is man enough to do it himself.  WOW!  Where are those type of men?  This isn't just for Christians - all men used to think this was their duty - you know, back when divorce rates were less and women were called ladies?  It should affect a man's manhood if his wife is having to help him provide, he should feel bad about it.

God made men the head and their head is Christ and we are under man's headship.  That doesn't mean we are dogs to be trampled on; as a Godly man will love his wife as Christ loved the church!  That means that you are his flower, his soft, feminine woman and he is your manly man that will do all to provide so that you can fulfill your Godly duty at home.  THAT is a man!

Ok, enough about what I said - what does God say about all this?  Well, God doesn't hold back - He goes so far as to say that a man is WORSE than an infidel if he doesn't provide for his own. OUCH GOD - you should be softer in your words, you might offend somebody.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

That verse is saying that those that aren't providing or won't provide for their own (his own house) are guilty of two things:

  1. Denied the faith - men that don't provide for their families are denying the faith or in other words, they have rejected the gospel!
  2. WORSE than an infidel - men that don't provide for their families are not just compared to infidels, or men that are heathen, they are WORSE than them!  Even heathens and pagans believe you should take care of your own.

That flies in the face of the modern-day Christian teaching of everything goes and everything is ok as long as you said a little prayer.  If you can do something that equals rejecting the gospel and being worse than the heathen - then, I would think it would be ok to assume that are you are no longer a Christian.  But that is another post in itself.

God used strong words because this is a serious thing!  Men should take care of their families; women should never feel that they have to do it.  I believe that this would include men preparing for situations such as: losing their job, becoming disabled or their death.  If men prepared for these things by having disability insurance, emergency funds and life insurance, then their family would still be taken care of.  There are some times when the man becomes so disabled he cannot work and if he didn't prepare ahead with disability insurance, he will find it hard to support his family on his disability income from the government in some cases.  That is where it is up to each family to decide if the wife must work but in most cases, she just needs to be content with his income if it is truly enough.

Adam Clarke's commentary speaks of nature teaching us these things, these are foundational things that shouldn't change:

"For what are called the dictates of nature lead men to feel for and provide for their own families."

Barnes commentary goes on to say even more in support of the preparations that men should think about concerning their families:

"The meaning is, that the person referred to is to think beforehand of the probable needs of his own family, and make arrangements to meet them.  ...according to our measure, we are to anticipate what will be the probable needs of our families, and to make arrangements to meet them.  ...We may hence learn that it is possible to deny the faith by conduct as well as by words; and that a neglect of doing our duty is as real a denial of Christianity as it would be openly to renounce it."

Men should provide and that includes prepare.  Why should a woman have to even worry about what to do in the event of her husband's death?  Why should she have to worry about working if he becomes disabled?  She shouldn't, if he prepared for these things ahead of time.  She should never have to face such things and I think that is where you find a lot of scared women holding on to their jobs as their "security" for the future, when they should be able to trust in their husband and most importantly, God.  Men should be man enough to have wives that don't fear the future, or in that matter, even the present.  She should also not spend his earnings foolishly and destroy her own family with her own greed but that is the next post.

So women, let the men have their pants back and men, put them on!

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Kelley Lawrence Forrester said...

I am loving this series! Thank you so much for posting this. This makes me feel even better about being a stay at home, Christian homemaker :)

Christian Homekeeper said...

That is great, thanks Kelley! :-)

Tricia said...

Hi Bev,
I am adding to my first comment (sorry). My husband has been an excellent saver, we have no credit card debt and no car payments. I am very frugal and wise with spending. I guess I'm looking for ideas on how to help him during his job loss. Thanks!

Christian Homekeeper said...

I just responded to your comment on the other post (Part 1). That is AWESOME that he was a saver and that you have no debt!! *doing a happy dance* I think you will be fine Tricia - it seems like you have done the right things and I assume your husband is a Christian too? I'm sure he will be praying and God will open doors. I did pray for you both.

In the event of a job loss, they say to cut all expenses down to the crucial needs - kind of like skimming all the fat off a piece of meat.

If you meant something more concrete, let me know!

tealady said...

This truly one of the best if not the best topics I have read, but Bev you normally do have such good posts.I have believed the same things for most of my life.. Last year my son for a collage class had to interview with a woman lives a life out of the modern woman. Bless his heart he choose me.That just goes to tell you what a dying breed we are.You make quotes from the Bible which is what we live and breath I actually had someone say to me how outdated the Bible is.I thought she was kidding so I started to laugh well she was not.After that I really didn't know what to say. I'm curious to hear what you and others would have said to her.

Christian Homekeeper said...

Thank you for the kind words Tealady! ;-) That is wonderful about your son - you are leaving a legacy!

In response to that woman's comment, I'm not really sure what I would say. Years ago, I wouldn't have imagined people saying such things but now even Christians are. No wonder the Bible said that few there be that find it - few! I would have told her that God never changes and His Word is the same but not sure what else after that - I would have been shocked like you.

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