Thursday, March 6, 2014

When Satan Lies To You

This post is referencing my miscarriage, which you can read about here:

I had cried some last night at the hospital and then on the way home but it wasn't until I was trying to fall asleep that Satan attacked my mind.  The words came to my mind so forceful, "Your cursed, look at all that God has let happen to you in your life" and then came a flood of other things and the pain of all my past traumas poured on me like heavy weights.  I started screaming and crying and tried to hold it in so I wouldn't wake my children but I couldn't.  The pain was so strong, the thoughts that God hates me filled me and I cried so hard.

My husband kept trying to comfort me as he was half asleep but as my crying and screaming got louder, he started waking up and holding me.  I couldn't even get the words out but just saying help me.  Finally, I was able to ask my husband if God loves me.  He began to talk about how so many said that I would be unable to bear children and how God opened my womb and gave me my daughter and then again after years of not being able to conceive and being told that I probably wouldn't be able to have more children - God did it again and gave me my son.

Hearing reminders of God's miracles squashed all of the lies of the devil in a moment.  I was able to calm down and just lay there thinking on my daughter and son - 2 miracles in the next rooms sent from God Himself and now serving as a reminder of His love.  Not only that but God brought me to the truth at 19 years old by taking me all the way to Alaska and then He gave me a Godly husband and a happy home.  He delivered me out of sin, cleansed me and washed me in His blood and gave me a new life.  He could have left me in the world in sin like I was with alcohol drowning out my past abuses but God didn't!  He loved me so much, he saved me and took the alcoholism away and healed my past.  Satan knows that we are blood-bought, we are redeemed, we have something that he can never have and he hates us - it isn't God that hates us, it is Satan that hates us!

When Satan lies to you - remember.  Remember all that God has done and let it drown out all the hurt, sorrow, pain and lies that Satan tries to tell you.  Then, you will have victory and peace!  Remember that this isn't the end, we will see loved ones again in heaven, there is a reunion awaiting us!

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tealady said...

That darn Devil,he likes to creep in when we are suffering and down.You had every right to mourn your babies but you were strong enough to know that God was protecting you.Your faith is strong and you may be blessed with more children and I will pray for you.

Twocans said...

Oh dear friend, I've been praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Family and I pray for you. What helped me in down times was to refer to a list of great and wonderful things that God has done for me. It is a memorial of the miracles and grace that have been poured upon me. In writing down these occurrences I realize not only how forgetful I've been, but also realize how gracious God has been! May God give you more comfort in the days to come.

Anonymous said...

Thank you all! ;-) I do feel the prayers, I've been fine one minute and the next I feel like I'm so incredibly depressed. I'm also in a lot of pain physically and this is way more painful than any other miscarriage I've had.

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