Saturday, December 26, 2015

2016 - Time to Rebuild!

I was looking back at my word for last year and it was "Adapt" because I was pregnant and expecting a new baby in 2015.  Not only did I lose that baby but 2015 was the most painful, debilitating year of my life.  I still can't tell of all I went through because my body actually relives it as I even THINK on it, I start feeling the pain as if I'm there again.  I felt as though I was broken in pieces and hit the bottom and then the bottom fell out!  I felt ground to powder - I felt forsaken by God but I know that is not true but in the midst of it, I wasn't so sure.

I began to think on what my word for 2016 would be.  I knew it was going to do something with recovery as I'm still recovering and it is a long road.  I prayed and the word came - REBUILD!  I started shouting actually because I felt the Holy Spirit so strong - this is the year that not only I, but our family, rebuilds all that has been broken down!  We are so broken on so many levels that the only thing to do is either die, spiritually speaking, or rebuild what Satan and hardship have destroyed.

I'm rebuilding my body, mind and soul!  I'm going to strive to rebuild the structure of our home, my children and I believe my husband is also on board to rebuild in his own life.  This year was a test - would we still continue for God despite the infirmities, despite the losses, despite the friends that walked away...?  Satan - I WILL continue!  

I get Paul now - I glory in my infirmities!  I'm thankful that God allowed what I went through this year.  It made me a better person and it made me stronger.  It showed me things that I needed to let God burn off in my life.  Truly when we are weak, we are strong if we let God have His perfect way.  I pray that God will help me as I endeavor to make this year one of rebuilding.

My theme song for the year is one called, Building Up the Wall, and it is best sung by the Ambassador Youth Choir, but I couldn't find it online, so provided the words:

Building up the Wall
By Jim E. Davis
© 1992 HIM Music

Chorus:

I’m building up the wall, and I won’t come down
I’m building up the wall, and I won’t come down
I’m building up the wall, and I won’t come do - own
Building up the wall and I won’t come down

Verse I:

The walls of Jerusalem were broken down to the ground in shame
But Nehemiah had a heart to rebuild them up again
And when the enemy came to mock, Nehemiah stood his grou - nd
He said, "I'm building up this wall, and I won't come down"

Verse II:

The devil he dropped by today, just to have a little chat with me
He said “Son, you’re workin’ way too hard! Come on down and rest your feet!”
Well I didn’t even stop to take the time to turn arou - nd
Because I’m building up the wall and I won’t come down

Verse III:

The world is lookin’ on; they just shake their heads and say
“That wall’s way to high! You don’t have to live that way!”
My answer is still the same, and it will never, ever cha - ange,
Because I’m building up the wall and I won’t come down


Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

A Look Back on 2015


The year of pain, desperation, hitting rock bottom... that was 2015.  But it was the also the year that I grew closer to God, trusted Him like never before, had to allow others to help me and realized how judgmental I had been in so many ways.  Ouch!  What a painful, yet needed experience this past year was!  It was the year I started getting back the "old Bev" - not the sinful one but the one that was strong and able to stand up for herself and say NO when needed.  Not sure how I lost her but she is back.

Sure, this past year was full of losses - my baby and my uterus - but it was also a year of miracles.  As a wise older woman told my husband; it was the year your wife didn't die!  Yes - instead of saying this was the year that I lost my baby, that I lost my uterus, that I developed numerous health issues and believed I was dying........It was the year I did NOT die, though Heaven would have been nice a bit early but my husband is thankful it wasn't my time!

I'm still having so many health problems but I still believe that God knows all about it and He ALLOWED these things to happen for my good.  Above all, I must make it to Heaven.  Above all, my family must make it to Heaven.  So many friends have quit - they stopped!  They went back to the world, they resurrected their dead, sinful self and sadly, they are dying and going to hell but I chose not to be one of them!  It's still You and me Jesus!!

I thought I was done with this blog and closed it down earlier this year but decided to reopen it and see what happens.

Here are my most memorable posts of 2015:


Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

The Story Behind the "TV" Stand/Window Seat

We purchased a TV, not cable or anything, but an actual TV monitor, along with the Amazon FireTV and a TV stand.  I don't even like the word TV - and some of you may remember why in posts from year's past about how the TV was my enemy as a child, at least in my mind.  We didn't have one until I was 9 years old and it took away my parent's attention and my sister's and it caused a host of other things.  It was the enemy.

So, when I sat and reasoned what was different from having a "TV" screen that was 43 inches from our Kindle Fire - I couldn't come up with much difference, other than the obvious size.  It wasn't like we were getting cable television or even going to watch bad things.  I couldn't even press the button to purchase the thing, I had my daughter press it.  From that moment on, even when it was here, I felt horrible.  I would wake up in the morning and see it and it would turn my stomach.  I couldn't stand having the thing in the house.  I did like watching our history videos on WWI and YouTube channels I like but there was just something about it that bothered me.

I figured out it had to probably do with my past experience and I was just going to work that out myself and let my family enjoy the big screen's benefits.  However, I didn't like that it caught my daughter's attention so much to where that is all she wanted to do or look forward to doing was playing games on there.  My husband doesn't even watch movies, so he wasn't using it.  I finally decided to just keep the thing and not let my personal issues get rid of it. 

That is when my husband said, "I don't want the thing in the house."  He couldn't even stand to say the word, "TV" either.  When I drilled him about it, he said that greater men than him have fallen to this thing and sinned and he didn't want to sin.  He didn't feel like he would sin with it but he didn't want that door there.  My heart sank - wow!  It was then I realized that it wasn't just my issues with my past but my husband also realized the potential of this beast and so we sent it back.

He had already put together the "TV" stand and didn't want to return it, so I was wondering what in the world we were going to do with it, probably sell it.  Then, I saw this space between our bookshelves in the dining/homeschool room and I asked my husband to measure it and wouldn't you know, it fit perfectly!  It makes a great little window seat for my toddler, as it holds 90 pounds and it is great storage for his learning toys.


Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Real Life Becomes Before & After

Yesterday, I took pics of my house and how horrible it was because I had planned to blog about living with chronic illness.  I was going to show the reality of it all and how my house has been looking for a long time because I've been physically unable to clean, pick up, etc.  I woke up this morning and felt good - which is not normal LOL!  I ended up, along with my husband and daughter, being able to do a clean up and I was amazed at how much we got done and so I decided to take some after photos!

I will start with the living room - things everywhere and toys as usual and the after after my daughter vacuumed and we all picked up and folded the throws.  Yes, I'm aware our ADT yard sign is IN the house, we hope to eventually get it in the yard.



The kitchen is usually piled with dishes but the after photo was actually worse than the before LOL - well, can't win them all!



The dining room is where we also homeschool and I do the budget, computer work, etc.  It is hardly ever clear as my son likes to leave toys or his water there and I leave my laptop there unless we have company.



My daughter vacuums the entire house once a week and does the trash.  I'm usually the one that has to pickup most of the stuff but my daughter does pick her stuff up and cleans my son's room every night.  He likes to dump his toys out on the floor every morning - no idea why but I guess he can't stand it too clean - ain't that like a man!!

Some things that have not been done in probably about 2 years are the blinds, curtains, walls, behind stove/fridge/washer/dryer and any other type of deep cleaning.  No idea when I will be able to do it but we are surviving despite it!  Amazingly, the dirt stays there till you get to it.  Meanwhile, I'm doing the important things since my time and abilities are limited - I'm loving my husband, trying to cook good food and homeschooling and playing with my kids.  Those are things that I won't put aside but the blinds!?  Seriously, they can wait - I have to snuggle with a very special toddler.

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Still Recovering...

I know it has been quiet on here for a while, I'm still recovering.  It has been a rough past year or so.  A quick summary would be - in the past 1 1/2 years, I've had 4 surgeries, lost 2 babies and was pregnant 5 of those 18 months.  My body is going to take a long time to recover from all this it seems - I was expecting too much too soon and am currently dealing with a lot of things but thankfully the physical therapy, etc. has been helping me.

I haven't felt up to blogging, so that explains my absence!  I pray you all have a Merry Christmas!!

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.