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Showing posts from December, 2015

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I'm working on restoring the images that were lost on my blog

2016 - Time to Rebuild!

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I was looking back at my word for last year and it was "Adapt" because I was pregnant and expecting a new baby in 2015.  Not only did I lose that baby but 2015 was the most painful, debilitating year of my life.  I still can't tell of all I went through because my body actually relives it as I even THINK on it, I start feeling the pain as if I'm there again.  I felt as though I was broken in pieces and hit the bottom and then the bottom fell out!  I felt ground to powder - I felt forsaken by God but I know that is not true but in the midst of it, I wasn't so sure. I began to think on what my word for 2016 would be.  I knew it was going to do something with recovery as I'm still recovering and it is a long road.  I prayed and the word came - REBUILD !  I started shouting actually because I felt the Holy Spirit so strong - this is the year that not only I, but our family, rebuilds all that has been broken down!   We are so broken on so many levels that the

A Look Back on 2015

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The year of pain, desperation, hitting rock bottom... that was 2015.  But it was the also the year that I grew closer to God, trusted Him like never before, had to allow others to help me and realized how judgmental I had been in so many ways.  Ouch!  What a painful, yet needed experience this past year was!  It was the year I started getting back the "old Bev" - not the sinful one but the one that was strong and able to stand up for herself and say NO when needed.  Not sure how I lost her but she is back. Sure, this past year was full of losses - my baby and my uterus - but it was also a year of miracles.  As a wise older woman told my husband; it was the year your wife didn't die!  Yes - instead of saying this was the year that I lost my baby, that I lost my uterus, that I developed numerous health issues and believed I was dying........It was the year I did NOT die, though Heaven would have been nice a bit early but my husband is thankful it wasn't my time!

The Story Behind the "TV" Stand/Window Seat

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We purchased a TV, not cable or anything, but an actual TV monitor, along with the Amazon FireTV and a TV stand.  I don't even like the word TV - and some of you may remember why in posts from year's past about how the TV was my enemy as a child, at least in my mind.  We didn't have one until I was 9 years old and it took away my parent's attention and my sister's and it caused a host of other things .  It was the enemy. So, when I sat and reasoned what was different from having a "TV" screen that was 43 inches from our Kindle Fire - I couldn't come up with much difference, other than the obvious size.  It wasn't like we were getting cable television or even going to watch bad things.  I couldn't even press the button to purchase the thing, I had my daughter press it.  From that moment on, even when it was here, I felt horrible.  I would wake up in the morning and see it and it would turn my stomach.  I couldn't stand having the thing in

Real Life Becomes Before & After

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Yesterday, I took pics of my house and how horrible it was because I had planned to blog about living with chronic illness.  I was going to show the reality of it all and how my house has been looking for a long time because I've been physically unable to clean, pick up, etc.  I woke up this morning and felt good - which is not normal LOL!  I ended up, along with my husband and daughter, being able to do a clean up and I was amazed at how much we got done and so I decided to take some after photos! I will start with the living room - things everywhere and toys as usual and the after after my daughter vacuumed and we all picked up and folded the throws.  Yes, I'm aware our ADT yard sign is IN the house, we hope to eventually get it in the yard. The kitchen is usually piled with dishes but the after photo was actually worse than the before LOL - well, can't win them all! The dining room is where we also homeschool and I do the budget, computer work, etc.  It is h