Christian Homekeeping

Today's interactive Bible study is going to be on Gossip! This is one area, where women especially, will need help on and prayer for. I started a study on Gossip a few posts ago and you can find it here:

http://christianhomekeeper.blogspot.com/2007/08/gossip-study.html

Before we start this study, I think it should be added a very valuable truth. If you pray a guard about your mouth daily, with the Lord's help you can keep your tongue in control! Not only will you not be guilty of the SIN of gossip, but your house will be cleaner and more organized, simply because you won't have much to gad around town about! What a concept.......mind your own business and do your work. (1 Thess 4:11)

Gossipy Words

Gossip is a terrible weapon of destruction. The person who uses this weapon loves to reveal very personal or sensational facts about a person (and of course this person is never present when the gossiper spreads these rumors). The gossiper loves to do anything except mind his own business!

According to Proverbs 11:13, a talebearer _________________ secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit ______________________ the matter.

There are some things that we are told or that we know about that are not meant to be repeated. There are some things that if said would only hurt and harm. Have you ever heard someone say to you,

Don’t tell anyone that I said this...?

If it is not worth repeating then it is probably not worth saying in the first place! In spreading gossip, sometimes the gossiper pretends that it is with great reluctance that he speaks--that he is

grieved to even repeat this, but...!

If he were really grieved, then he would keep his mouth shut!

Are there some things that we should not repeat (Proverbs17:9)?__________

Have you ever bitten someone in the back (see Proverbs 25:23)? Of course when the Bible speaks of a "backbiter" it does not mean this in a literal sense. It means that you talk about a person in a bad way when his (or her) back is turned (when the person is not present). Would the backbiter dare say those things if the person were present? _______

Can words of gossip hurt someone (Proverbs 26:22)?________ In this case a wound is inflicted even though no blood is drawn and no outward hurt is seen.

There is a simple way to kill gossip. Gossip can never survive unless there is someone to listen to it. The problem is that most people enjoy hearing the latest rumor and they eagerly devour the latest gossip. They are as guilty as the one who gossips.

Here’s a suggestion the next time someone begins to share gossip with you. You can say,

My friend, let’s go to this person that you are talking about and let’s share this with him (her), and then after we share it all three of us can get down on our knees and pray about it!

Do you think this person would make it a habit to share gossip with you?

We must be careful never to gossip and never to receive gossip from others. Don’t give it out and don’t take it in!

Next - Part 4 Wrong and Wicked Words; includes Boastful and Flattering words.

This is the continuation in our interactive Bible study.

Perverse (Filthy) Words

The person who is P_________ in his lips is described as a _________ (Proverbs 19:1).

What kind of words flow out of your mouth? corrupt words? improper words? swear words? rotten words? Do you swear and use filthy language in public? in private? Do you copy the language of your unsaved friends or are you a testimony to them by the words which you use and which you do not use?

In the New Testament God tells us that no C________________ (Ephesians 4:29) or F_______________ (Colossians 3:8) communication should come out of the believer’s mouth! Don’t let the garbage and filth fly all over the place! Remember, our language reveals our heart! Filthy words come out of a filthy heart. Have you ever allowed God to do a "heart-cleansing" job within you (compare Isaiah 1:18 and 1 John 1:7)?

Harsh and Angry Words

Have you ever seen a person EXPLODE like a volcano in a fit of anger? When the human volcano blows, it usually explodes through the mouth! Usually the angrier the person gets the louder the words get and the louder the words get the angrier the person gets!

Have you ever heard an argument get louder and louder until the two people begin talking with their fists?

A __________ answer turneth away ______________

(Proverbs 15:1).

Next time try using the weapon of soft words! Soft words quench anger’s fire! Have you ever tried the soft answer approach when talking to your parents (especially during those times when there is a difference of opinion over something)? Loud, angry words only stir up wrath.

Next - Part 3 of Wrong and Wicked Words, which is Gossip.

Words are important. How much can you say in a three-minute phone call? Much can be said! In three short minutes slow talkers can get in about 450 words. It is possible to whiz through 750 words in three minutes. How many words do you think come out of your mouth during an average day? _____________________

Words are powerful. Words can create close friendships or destroy friendships. They can prompt laughter or motivate tears. Words can hurt and harm and words can heal and help. Let us now consider how words can be used in the wrong way.

False Words

What does the Lord think of a lying tongue (Proverbs 6:16-17; 12:22)? ________________________________________________

This sin caused Ananias and Sapphira to be hurried away into eternity (Acts 5:1-10).

Who is the liar’s parent (John 8:44)? ______________________

Will the liar be punished (Proverbs 19:5,9)? How will he be punished (Revelation 21:8)? __________________________________________________________

Those who love lies are showing that they do not love the God of truth. If liars will turn to Christ they too can be saved. The Lord Jesus Christ came into the world to save _______________, including liars (1 Timothy 1:15).

Are you a practicing liar today or are you a former liar who is now saved______________

Liars and deceivers hide the truth, twist the truth, misrepresent the truth and lead others away from the truth. How truthful are you?
What always came out of the Saviour’s mouth (John 8:45-46)? _____________________


Next - Part 2 of Wrong and Wicked Words

This is the start of an interactive Bible study. The information provided is free to print but should not be taken over as ownership or changed. It is provided by a group who wishes to help others and edify the body of believers, and is free to distrubute.

That which comes out of the mouth is an expression of what is really in the heart. In Matthew 12:34 the Lord Jesus clearly stated that it is not really a MOUTH PROBLEM, but it is a HEART PROBLEM:

for out of the abundance of the _____________ the _____________ speaketh.

See also Matthew 12:35.
Words are like FRUIT ("the fruit of our lips"). If the fruit is bad, something must be wrong with the root (MAN’S HEART). Remember, when wrong or filthy words flow out of a person's mouth, he is showing everyone a picture of his heart. The words that a person speaks reveal much about the state of that person’s heart.
The book of James has a great deal to say about the tongue and especially how important it is to "bridle" that little member (James 1:26; 3:1-12). A bridle is used to control a horse and hold him back and keep him in check. A man’s tongue is like a wild horse that must be controlled and held in check and restrained. We must not let it run loose! God is the One who can help us control the tongue as we trust Him and seek to please Him in all that we say.
Like James, the book of Proverbs is a very practical book and has much to say about the use and abuse of the tongue. The first thing we want to do is to look at some of the wrong and sinful ways that words are used.

Next - Part 1, Wrong and Wicked Words

Have you ever been in the "heat" of the battle and everything in you just wants to RUN? It would be so easy to just "run" away from it all, from all your problems and the battle. But that isn't winning the battle! God didn't make us soldiers for nothing, we have to fight and be brave against ALL EVIL!

So no matter how hot the "heat" of your battle is.....God can cool it down and you can learn from it when its all said and done. Isn't it funny how when our HUGE battle is over that it looks so small?

In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.

Author Unknown

Proverbs 12:4

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

You tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
By the very manner in which you speak,
By the way you employ your leisure time,
By the use you make of dollar and dime.

You tell what you are by the things you wear,
By the spirit in which you burdens bear,
By the kind of things at which you laugh,
By the records you play on the phonograph.

You tell what you are by the way you walk,
By the things of which you delight to talk,
By the manner in which you bear defeat,
By so simple a thing as how you eat.

By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf:
In these ways and more, you tell on yourself.

Author Unknown

I have been conducting an INTENSE study on gossip and that it entails for months now. I have been doing this because the tongue (especially for women) is a part of my body I wish to control more of. Here is an article about the tongue that I posted a while back that would do much good to read again. I have been reading just about everything I can get my hands on about gossip. I'm still reading lol......but it is yielding wonderful things in my life as understanding gossip and all that it entails brings forth knowledge to prevent it in my life.

I've been having a lot of time alone lately and it has allowed me to study more and ask my husband questions about things I don't understand (which the Bible instructs wives to do!). I realized in my time alone, how many idle words I had spoken when in conversation with others......to just fill the space of small talk. Then when I next had interaction with someone after spending time praying a guard about my tongue.....I have found that I'm more cautious of my words and my ears! It has yielded the effect I had hoped for.....carefulness.

Here is a great quote from Charles Spurgeon on the topic:

Don’t be the Devil’s bellows any longer to blow up the fires of strife. Leave off setting people by the ears. If you do not cut off a bit of your tongues, at least season them with the salt of grace. Praise God more and blame neighbors less. Any goose can cackle; any fly can find out a sore place; any empty barrel can give forth sound; any brier can tear a man’s flesh. No flies will go down your throat if you keep your mouth shut and no evil speaking will come up. Think much, but say little; be quick at work and slow at talk; and above all, ask the great Lord to set a watch over your lips.

This is what I did.......I asked the Lord to set a watch upon my lips and a guard on my tongue. It had occurred to me some months ago, that I wasn't taking much consideration for my words. Words can do a great deal of damage to others and they can also do a great deal of good.

However, I had not been praying over my conversations with others and found myself in a distressed state. I had let others tell me things about others......gossip! I had thought to myself, well I can't correct them I'm not their pastor....BUT when it causes me to sin by mere listening (see this article) then I must withdraw myself from the conversation because I will not be a partaker in another person's sin! (1 Timothy 5:22)

Also, being around those type of people who have nothing better to do than talk about others and how bad they are......I came to the realization that their evil ways were rubbing off on me because I began to look at others in disdain! You just can't have fellowship with those that continue in sin, especially gossip. Once you withdraw yourself from their company, you will soon find that YOU will be the topic they choose to speak evil about to others. The tongue is EVIL.
Do you have complete control of your tongue?? I will be the first to say that I know I did not and I have taken steps to ensure a guard about my tongue.

If the picture is too small for you to read, here are the verses:
James 3:4-6

4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

A preacher in my church preached this message last year, and I took some of what he preached and some of my own thoughts and put them together.
He spoke on the warm air currents and thermals on which the eagle finds to help them soar, so they don't have to keep flapping their wings frantically. I never really studied much on birds and so I read a little about it when I got home and found this:

• Taken from thinkquest

I just created this recipe today and it is the BEST salsa I've ever tasted and I'm not kidding! Hubby loved it and my daughter also!

• 2 tomatoes
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1T lemon juice
• pepper
• salt
• 1T Mrs Dash Extra Spicy seasoning

Bring water to boil in a pan. Add tomatoes (whole) and chopped onion and boil for about 5 minutes. Drain. Remove peel from tomatoes and cut off top and bottom parts. Put tomatoes in bowl and mash. Now add the tomatoes, onions, lemon juice, pepper, salt and Mrs Dash seasonings in a blender and blend on low for just 1 minute.

Refrigerate...it will thicken within 30 minutes! Enjoy!

Philippians 4:9

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

• a state of national tranquillity
• exemption from the rage and havoc of war
• peace between individuals, i.e. harmony, concord
• security, safety, prosperity, felicity, (because peace and harmony make and keep things safe and prosperous)
• of the Messiah's peace
• the way that leads to peace (salvation)
• of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is

Father,

Help me take an honest look at what legacy I'm leaving behind.

Will anyone be different because of the way I've lived my life?

Will anyone be closer to you because of the way I've used my time?

Will someone have eternal life because I've introduced them to Jesus?

Will anyone have hope because of seeing Jesus in me?

Father, the older I get (and the more loved ones who leave this life)the more I realize how short my time is.

I don't want to waste this precious life You've given me.

I know I will stand before You someday and will be accountable for how I used the time You gave me.

I don't want to wait for someday. Show me now, while I still have time to readjust my priorities.

Is too much of my time spent on collecting things that won't even be a thought a hundred years from now?

Do I waste hours on needless worry, guilt and fear?

Am I listening too much to the temptations of this world or do I recognize them quickly and move on?

What portions of my day are spent on loving You, on serving others in Your love, or on myself?

Am I spiritually balanced?

Will you be pleased with the way I'mspending my life?

Am I keeping my focus on You?

Help my legacy be a life which points to a joyful life with You, so it will last long after everyone has forgotten who I am.

Author Unknown

1 Timothy 5:13

And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.

This passage refers to the temptation younger widows encounter when they have no husband at home to provide the ballast they need to be home-centered. But certainly, other women in the Christian community are tempted to be busybodies as well. It may sound harmless, but Scripture ranks this sin with some of the big ones.

1 Peter 4:15

But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters.

What is a busybody? In this passage, she is a woman who delights in other people's business. Instead of being focused on her own home, her own duties, her own family, the busybody is interested in everyone else's business. A busybody is "busy" gathering and passing on information. Of course, saying these things is sinful, but knowing them may be equally sinful.

Let's back up and examine how a woman becomes a busybody. First, she must learn idleness, as our text says. But how does a woman learn idleness? The image seems contradictory! I suggest that it is learned by studiously avoiding the duties God has laid out for her. The budding busybody must shirk her domestic duties for the more pleasant task of "visiting."

The woman Paul describes is wandering about the neighborhood. It is far easier to leave unfinished duties behind than step over them. The women the busybody visits can't see her laundry pile or the dirty kitchen floor. As the busybody wanders from house to house, she is far from idle: she is busy gathering information about everyone else's affairs.

Does the modern busybody wander from house to house? You bet. She goes here for coffee and there for lunch. She's charging around town, dropping in and checking up. The news gathered at stop one is repeated with relish at stop two. This also provides her with lots of prayer requests for Bible study or prayer meeting.

Of course, the modern busybody is not restrained if she doesn't have the means to wander about town. She has a more convenient method - the telephone. The modern busybody can be very "busy" on the phone for hours a day. This sort of idleness may produce weariness, but it doesn't produce the fruit God requires. A woman's God-given duties must necessarily be neglected to carry on such extensive visiting.

How does the busybody conduct her visits? She asks many questions and is a keen listener. She asks questions that are meddlesome and interfering. But she seldom gives offense because she seems so genuinely interested. No detail is insignificant for her. She delights in passing on "tasty morsels" and offers much information (about others) without being asked. Since her head is so full of "other people's matters," much of what is fact and what is hearsay is easily blurred. Now she has become not only a busybody, passing on the "news," but a gossip passing on rumors.

Meanwhile, is the laundry done? Is dinner planned? Can she really afford all this time?

A few cautions come immediately to mind. First, ask yourself if you are a busybody. IF YOU ARE WORKING HARD AT HOME FAITHFULLY DOING YOUR GOD-GIVEN DUTIES, THEN YOU WILL HAVE LITTLE TIME FOR SUCH FOOLISH BEHAVIOR. Nevertheless, recall your recent conversations.

Have you been too involved in "other people's matters"?

Do you ask questions that are really not your business?

Do you pass on information about other people's affairs?

Do you delight in being the first to know and the first to tell?

Second, do you have a friend who is a busybody? Take care. You may be drawn into her bad habits. Don't listen to her repeat all the news. Excuse yourself from inappropriate conversations.

Do you have a regular group you meet with to "visit" and fellowship? Is the conversation often about other people? Perhaps you should withdraw from such a group.

Finally, if you know someone to be a busybody, keep your distance. Be careful what you tell her. Assume that everything you say will get around the community. That should motivate you to exercise discretion. Be careful what you say, especially about your husband. Be sure your comments are always respectful and kind and God honoring.

That sort of news isn't nearly as much fun to pass on.

Author Unknown

Note: Around the year 1393, an elderly citizen of Paris married a girl of fifteen, who was an orphan from another region. An older gentleman marrying a young bride was not unusual during this time, but she was concerned that she had no experience running a home. So he wrote this treatise of moral and domestic instruction for her, so she could do him credit if she were to remarry after his death. This is one of the examples of his instruction.

Indeed, dear sister, these favors cause a man to love and desire the return home and the sight of his good wife, and to be reserved with others. And so I advice you to comfort your second husband on all his homecomings, and persevere in this.
Also keep peace with him. Remember the country proverb that says there are three things that drive a good man from his home: a house with a bad roof, a smoking chimney, and a quarrelsome woman. Dear sister, I beg you, in order to preserve your husband’s love and good will, be loving, amiable, and sweet with him. Do for him what the good, simple women of our country claim people have done to their sons when they are enamored elsewhere and they cannot get them back...
From: “A Mediaeval Home Companion: Housekeeping in the 14th Century” translated by Tania Bayard

Adaptability - Cultivate a taste for each other’s interests.

Belief - Trust one another.

Children - Be of one mind on the subject.

Devotion - Don’t be sparing with love.

Entertainment - Keep each other amused and interested.

Finesse - Handle each other with tact.

Generosity - Don’t be stingy with love or money or praise.

Health - Keep it as well as you can and don’t talk about your symptoms.

Interests - Enter into everything the other does.

Jokes - Laugh at ‘em.

Kindness - Never fail to show each other tenderness and sympathy.

Love - Never let your supply run low.

Money - Agree before marriage about the division of the family income.

Need - Of each other. Make yourself a necessity to your mate.

Observation - Notice when the wife has a new gown or the husband looks particularly spick and span.

Politeness - Treat each other as courteously as you would strangers.

Quiet - Keep a peaceful home.

Respect - Show deference to each other’s opinions and intelligence.

Sportsmanship - Take marriage on the chin and come up smiling.

Tenderness - Be all heart to your husband or wife.

Understanding - Enter into the thoughts and feelings of your mate.

Virtue - No philandering on the side.

Willingness - Both husband and wife be willing to help each other pull their weight back in the boat.

Xtra attention - Especially when one is downhearted or sick.

Yes - Flattery is the oil that lubricates the domestic machine.

Zero - Your marriage will never be zero if you follow these rules.


*From the Cameron Collegian, May 16, 1945, p. 2

There has been one word that has gone with me through life from childhood and that still has a special meaning to me even now and it is DETERMINATION!

Growing up it was a word that drove me to reach higher heights in my studies in school and to make something of myself. I was determined to make good grades and determined to get my diploma after I had some setbacks. It got me that diploma and it helped me reach many goals over the years.

My dad had always remembered the word also. He preached a few times about determination and when I went to leave for basic training in the Air Force, he told me I would make it.......just keep my determination!

It was also a word he used when I would call him throughout the years for encouragement. He would tell me.......remember your determination! I would say YES!!!! I have determination!! =)

When I was sick in March, my dad encouraged me over the phone and told me that I could make it because I have determination. When they came to visit me just a few weeks ago, he once again mentioned to me that my determination has pushed me through hard times in my life and to not forget it and not let it go!

Every time I hear the word, something swells up inside and tears come to my eyes. I remember low crawling through mud and rocks in basic training and thinking I couldn't make it but pushing through regardless and being determined and I made it through.

Just what does the word determination mean? Well, Webster's defines it as:

Determination:
a : the act of deciding definitely and firmly; also : the result of such an act of decision
b : firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end

It isn't just used for life's goals. It is even greater in its context with our spiritual lives as well! We GOT to be determined to make it to Heaven! To be determined to fight and not give up! Our determination to stay right and live holy before God will ensure our destination; Heaven, to be with our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!

Oh what a reward for determination we shall receive!! Will there be any greater thing in life to reap the rewards of? NO! The ultimate destination of determination can be Heaven IF we stay right and holdfast to the faith......never give up.......keep going on, stay DETERMINED!!!!

Why buy cleaners such as Fantastic, 409, Windex, etc?? When you can make your own cleaners and get it just as clean (if not cleaner, cheaper AND safer) than buying the store cleaners. There are so many different variations of cleaner recipes but you basically just need the following items:

White vinegar
Lemons
Lemon Juice
Lemon Oil (for real wood)
Salt
Baking Soda
Borax
Castile Soap (or some cheap dish soap)
Tea Tree Oil
Washing Soda
Toothpaste
Basic soap

White vinegar and baking soda are the top items you will need to clean with. White vinegar cuts through soap scum and dirt. It is a natural deodorizer also, so while you are cleaning you are making it smell good too! ; ) You can take equal parts of vinegar and water and combine them in a spray bottle for a great everyday cleaner. Spray the counters with it and wipe surfaces.

Baking soda is also a deodorizer and a great tool for jobs that need some scouring. It is a mild abrasive, so it will clean but it won't be too harsh on surfaces. For deodorizing, sprinkle 1 cup in the bottom of your trash can! It will keep it smelling a whole lot better than before. Also keep baking soda in your fridge and freezer.......this is no secret to others I'm sure, as you can now buy the fridge/freezer boxes of baking soda in the grocery store.

Lemon juice, along with vinegar, is good for hard water deposits and soap scum. They are both acidic and that is what helps them work great!

You can really mix and match with all the products above. Most cleaning recipes can be interchanged with the different items above. Borax is like baking soda, in that it is a mild abrasive and deodorizes. With salt.....you will want to use that on surfaces that can stand a hard scrubbing! Don't use it on surfaces that it will scratch!!

Take 1 tablespoon of Tea Tree Oil and pour it in 16+ oz of warm water for a disinfectant spray. The Lemon Oil would be used on real wood products to "feed" them.

Then you have the soap products.....washing soda, castile soap and basic soap. Use these in places you are going to rinse with water after you have cleaned.

Ok....you are probably saying.......what is the toothpaste for?? Basic, white toothpaste (not the gel kind) can do a lot! You can shine silver with it, remove crayon from walls........treat a pimple and there is MORE here.

So the next time you pick up that bottle of 409 at the store and get ready to whip out your 3 or 4 dollars a bottle.........how about mixing up your own batch of homemade cleaners and saving some money!!