Christian Homekeeping

I finished putting the herbs I have into jars and into my apothecary.  It was a tedious process of washing the jars and lids, drying them and then filling them with the herb and labeling.  I'm now ready to order some of the herbs I don't have that I will be using to make tinctures, salves, ointments, lip balms, lotion bars, etc.  You can see what herbs I use a lot of - chamomile, lemon balm and peppermint.  I mostly use those for teas for various ailments or just to relax!

I'm using the bottom shelf for my supplies, such as jars, bottles, measuring kits, etc.  I also have 2 drawers below this (not pictured) and I'm using them for medical/health-related things.  One has quite the collection of medical supplies that I've amassed over the years of numerous hospital stays.  I'm so glad I saved everything because it has come in handy in treating my family.  I pretty much know a remedy for everything as I've went through just about anything you can imagine.  I'm so glad that I gained such knowledge so that I can use it to help my own family and others and pass down my medical journal and remedies to future generations.

I've made my own herbal concoctions for a few years now but I wanted to get more training and a certificate as an herbalist, so I have been taking courses.  I've been learning a lot and started my apothecary in my armoire in my bedroom, as it was the only place that I had available that was in the house that could store all that I will be storing.

Several years ago I started freezer cooking for a month and then that evolved into freezer cooking for 3 months and I did this for about 2 years or maybe more.  I no longer freezer cook.  I've been asked as to why I stopped and I decided to share my personal reason.

The main reason I stopped freezer cooking is because I don't believe it is healthy.  I believe it contributed to my ill health that eventually came about, that along with stress.


I'm not talking about frozen food, such as vegetables, that are actually better for you frozen than fresh vegetables that have sat too long.  When a farmer picks vegetables and immediately freezes them, it locks in more nutrients than when he picks fresh and is transported and sits at the store and by the time you eat it, it has lost a lot of nutrients.  The BEST way to eat vegetables is from your own garden.  Pick and serve that day or week for the best nutritional value.  Second best is buy from a local farm within a week after they pick it.  Third best is frozen.  Canned is of course is the worst from all the studies I've read.

So, frozen vegetables are great but what is not great is buying store-bought vegetables, frozen vegetables or canned and then mixing them in a meal and freezing them.  You really are going to miss over half, if not more, of the nutrient value.

Cooking raw meat and then freezing it is not a good idea either I believe.  Stick with fresh or frozen raw meat.

Also, I used a lot of canned tomato products to make homemade sauces and I believe that was incredibly not-healthy!  When you open a canned item, especially an acidic item like tomatoes - you should use it right away.  Never use it to make homemade sauces that will be not be used within a few days!  I believe there is a health danger to freezing open canned items.

Now you know why I quit freezer cooking.  I believe it was a large factor in my ill health as what you eat for 3 months doesn't show up in your body till the next 3 months.  It can take 3-6 months to rebuild your nutritional stores in your body and health.  Fresh is usually always better - cook fresh meals for your family.  Learn how to garden!  We really need to get back to the basics in our country, not only for health reasons, but for financial and to develop a good work ethic in future generations.

There is nothing more discouraging than being around women who are not Godly mentors.  They will criticize your walk with God, draw you away into selfishness and you will find yourself adopting their ways.  Be careful who you spend your time with and who you have your communication and friendships with!  I would rather have a few friendships with quality women, than an overabundance of friendships with those that lack substance.

If you set out to follow God's Word and his plan for women and be a Christian wife and mother, you NEED to surround yourself with Godly mentors.  These are women who also share the same goal - to be a Godly woman who builds up her house and is focused on God, her family and her home.  Seek out these women in your area and online.  Let their words, talk or fellowship encourage your soul to be better and to love your husband and children as the Word of God instructs.

I've found that if I hang around women who are selfish, criticize their husbands and neglect their children - it will discourage me and prevent me from staying focused!  There are some, that we can BE mentors to, but if they are not interested in pursuing that route, don't let your good become the enemy of the very best.

Godly mentors will encourage and edify you to be better.  They will provoke you to good works.  They will shake your mind up to get your priorities straight again.  Hint; it isn't Facebook!  I remember 2 times I was on Facebook and both times I was saddened by what it did to me.  It took me away, like a vacuum, from the very best people in my life - God, my husband and my precious children.  Sorry Facebook, you may glitter and dazzle but I won't let you take me away with your deception of "friends" and forsake what, and who, is truly important in life!

I've surrounded myself with Godly mentors.  I've found a great group of women that encourage me in the Lord, in being a wife and being a loving mother.  They are very focused on their husbands, children and homes and it boosts my spirits.  I also read blogs and books of the same caliber of women to sharpen myself and help me in this continuing journey we face as Christian women.

Don't forget your children!  Make sure they have mentors as well.  We have a wonderful, Godly youth group full of youth that truly seek God and live the life outside the church.  I'm always amazed at the fervor in the hearts to be what God wants them to be.  It truly makes a difference when your children have others to look up to and be encouraged by as well.

I've been reading a wonderful book that I would recommend (minus the Catholicism) to mothers everywhere.  It is called, A Mother's Rule of Life:  How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul, by Holly Pierlot.  She had many children and homeschooled and never could get it together, no matter how hard she tried and what method she used.  She decided to give up and put the children in school.  What happened next is something that really touched me and I wanted to share.

She told her husband she was done and the kids were going to school. She told him nothing was going to stop her from doing this, her mind was made up, she had had ENOUGH!  He agreed but asked her to take a little time to consider whether this is best for the family.  She didn't see a reason to take any time to consider anything, she wasn't changing her mind.  She very reluctantly agreed to take a week and bring it to God in prayer.

She began to pray and be open to whatever the Lord wanted to show her.  Jesus brought her attention to these scriptures:

Matthew 14:14-21

¹⁴ And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.
¹⁵ And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.
¹⁶ But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.
¹⁷ And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.
¹⁸ He said, Bring them hither to me.
¹⁹ And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.
²⁰ And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.
²¹ And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children.

She said:

Here were the disciples, staring at a large crowd, seeing all the needs of the people, and knowing full well they couldn't meet those needs.  The only solution they saw was to send the people away.  And here I was, seeing the many tasks and needs of my home - for my children, my husband, homeschooling, not to mention myself - and the only solution I could see was to send the children away.  But when the disciples brought their concerns to Jesus, Jesus told them to feed the crowds themselves.  The disciples must have been totally astonished, realizing the impossibility of the task before them.  I, too, had realized the impossibility of the task.  But Jesus wanted me to do it anyway.  And then it dawned on me.  It wasn't the Apostles' meager five loaves and two fish that fed the crowds, but their offering combined with the blessing of Jesus.  And Jesus was telling me to give him my five loaves and two fish, my insignificant efforts, and he would bless them, and the needs of my family would be met.

I hope you were touched the way I was by her sharing of this wonderful leading from the Lord!  We must look to Jesus, believing in FAITH to make up the difference after we bring all that we can each day.

Image credit: Amazon

In light of the recent school shooting, we seem to notice just how bad it really is in children's lives these days, yet there is never actually anything done to fix it.  Taking guns away will not only NOT fix it, it will make us ALL vulnerable to criminals, who WILL get guns somehow - just like they manage to get "illegal" drugs.  Look at how crazy everyone is acting!  Fighting and pointing fingers with one another.

Everyone seems to ignore that this shooter, this orphaned boy, was hurting extremely bad.  Not only was he supposedly given up by his real, biological parents, but his adoptive father died when he was a child and his adopted mother died this past November.  It didn't stop there.  He was bullied relentlessly at school for how he acted or behaved.  He couldn't have been expected to act normally because he had already been rejected by his birth parents and then lost his adoptive parent (and later on the 2nd).  His emotions were probably running wild and combine that with growing up and hormones and then the whole ungodly, public-school culture and you end up with a recipe for total destruction of a human spirit!!!  It was brought to the attention of staff at school but no one did anything about it and that hurt him even more.  He was treated as an outcast as though it was HIS fault he was the way he was.  The poor boy was hurting and screaming for help and all he ever got was tragedy and mockery!  The woman that took over for his mother after she died, showed her main goal ONE day after the shooting - she rushed to file a paper to make sure she got his inheritance from his dead mother, to the tune of $800,000 and she quickly tossed his brother involuntarily into a mental institution.

What we have here is not a case of an evil boy destined to kill.  We have a very, very hurt boy, who through hurts, rejection, abuse and having those who cared for him taken away, had an open door for demons to come in one by one.  Full of demons, he did whatever they said and did the unthinkable.  He could now finally have PROOF that he was a very bad boy unworthy of love.  God help him, deliver him from his demons and let him feel that he is loved by someone - by you and God!

Public school is a place that Satan rules and God isn't allowed.  The place where teachers spew their biased, liberal, anti-God rhetoric in between bites of actual book learning.  What kind of things should we expect out of such a place!?  It is full of children, whose mother's have shuffled the responsibility of their education off to others (and forced us all to foot the bill for it) and chased the mighty dollar and career.  It is full of children hurting because they are without love and care and just want their mommies!  They are hurting so bad, they start hurting each other by bullying.  All bullying is, is hurt children taking it out on others, what they themselves don't understand.

What is so appalling to me and always has been, is that people that call themselves Christians, freely hand their children over to these prisons of evil.  They boast in unison of how they are "free" of their hindrances, so they can do other things, you know... important things like sitting on their rump, scrolling through Facebook or posting lascivious photos of themselves so another man can lust after them.  Meanwhile, little Johnny's head is being filled up with all manner of anti-God rhetoric and learning to love the "world" as he desperately tries to fit in to this culture called the public school.

It isn't just school choice.  Little Johnny doesn't even know what is a man or woman anymore and his mother sure isn't helping by dressing like a man and working like a man!  Women are partly the cause to this gender confusion, they, quite frankly started this mess by cross-dressing.  Children are CONFUSED and roaming the school halls for answers.

Mothers need to quit their jobs, put on feminine dress and act like a woman and school their own children!  There is no better place than the place where God ordained children to be - at home with their mothers.  When you wake up and realize just what you have caused, you should weep, repent and make it right if there is still time.  If your children are already grown, you can still weep and repent and take it before the courtroom of the Almighty God and ask Him to fix what you messed up.  Then, warn others - like I'm doing because my own mother told me to in her stead.

*Watch video of a psychotherapist telling why working mothers produce mentally ill children: http://www.christianhomekeeping.com/2018/03/working-mothers-produce-mentally-ill.html

*It should be noted that we probably will not end school shootings, as it is nothing new.  The first school shooting was in 1764 by Indians, with a student doing the shooting by 1840.  This post is to bring attention to mothers to help prevent their own children from being so hurt to do such an act.

There are exceptions to a lot of things in the Bible that God did not include.  Had He included them, the Bible would have been enormous.  There are some that say there are no exceptions to anything.  Let's look at two views on this:

1. Only what is IN the Bible
2. There are exceptions to certain things

Only what is IN the Bible; No Exceptions

A lot of people think they believe this but when we start breaking down things, they realize they don't.  However, for this post, let's say that we believe this and there are NO exceptions to anything that isn't laid out in the Bible.  Let's take a few topics:

1. Divorce - the Bible only states divorce lawful in the case of death or adultery, and desertion if the unbelieving depart.  If your spouse beats you or molests your children, you have to remain married and not depart because God didn't give this exception.  If you were forced into your marriage as an 8 year old child, you can't divorce or depart because God didn't give this exception.  If you are sold to a man for marriage, you can't divorce or depart because God didn't give this exception.  
2. Don't forsake assembling - if the church or leaders decide to assemble, you can not forsake, no exceptions.  It doesn't matter if you are sick, in the hospital on your death's bed - God didn't give an exception.
3. Obey husband in everything - if he tells you to stay awake for a week and not sleep, guess what?  You better do it, God didn't give any exceptions to this, He said "everything".  If he tells you to be a prostitute, curse, smoke, etc. you have to do it - God didn't give any exceptions.
4. Obey them that have the rule over you - in regards to Pastors, if a Pastor tells you to do it, you have to.  God didn't give any exceptions.  If he tells you to quit your job and give him all your money, you must, there are no exceptions.  If he tells you to get a vasectomy or prevent children, you must obey him, there are no exceptions.
5. Be content with your wages - don't ever ask for a raise or seek another job, God said be content with your wages, no exceptions.

I really hope you are seeing just how illogical it would be to think that God has no exceptions to certain things!

There are exceptions to certain things

1. Divorce - I went over this in this post: http://www.christianhomekeeping.com/2017/12/marriage-101-divorce-and-remarriage.html
2. Forsaking assembly - 1 or 2 times a week is sufficient most Christians believe for assembling.  You aren't in danger of hell if a church decides to have church everyday and you don't go.  If you are sick, in the hospital, have a sick child, etc. these are exceptions that most people understand as a given.  You should make it a point to assemble at least once a week and be with other believers.
3. Obey husband in everything - You wouldn't obey your husband if he is telling you to do something outside of God's will, commandments or that is sinful.  There are exceptions to this!  You would be crazy to believe there aren't.
4. Obey them that have the rule over you -  if your Pastor tells you to do something outside of God, well obviously don't but you could also find another Pastor.  There are exceptions to this scripture.  A pastor doesn't have to marry homosexuals and on and on, even if the church he is a part of tells him to.  Obey God rather than man!  If your Pastor tells you to get a vasectomy or prevent children, don't obey him!  That goes against God's Word and His plan for families.  Find a Pastor that doesn't do things that are questionable or just plain wrong.
5. Be content with your wages - you can be content and also change your job, ask for a raise, etc.  There are exceptions.

There are so many more we could add and show the no-exception vs. exception side of.  Please use your God-given brain when reading and living God's Word!  He gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us and teach us!  Follow His Word YES but also heed the Holy Spirit and realize God can do anything He wants to do!

There are current news stories of people who followed the letter of the law and sinned.  I'm reminded of a Pastor, who was married but lustful.  He sought out women on a lewd website and had private adulterous affairs.  However, he convinced himself he couldn't divorce his wife, he had to keep God's Word after all - so he killed her instead, so he could be "free" to be marry another woman.  There are these kind of people out there, who hold so strong to ONE thing in the Bible and forsake the others.  The issue of marriage/divorce/remarriage is one of them.  I've seen people, like this Pastor, stick to the no-divorce thing so diligently but take their bed of ease in other areas and commit all manner of sins.

We should try and follow God's Word as it is written but also realize, there may be exceptions.  This is why it is so important for Christians to be filled with the Holy Spirit, led by the Spirit and know the voice of God.

Most people would look at the cost of living in Ohio when it comes to all the taxes and question why would anyone want to live there if they had a choice?  I'm here to answer the question, but first, I will tell you just how taxed Ohioans are.  Besides paying federal, Medicare and Social Security taxes, when you live in Ohio, you also have to pay:

• Ohio State Income Tax
• Income tax in the city you LIVE in
• Income tax in the city you WORK in
• Income tax for the school district you live in

Yes, those are ridiculous!  However, not everyone has to pay the last 3 taxes but everyone has to pay state income tax.  Let's talk about the last 3:

1. Residence Tax - there are certain cities in Ohio that charge an income tax if you live in their city.  The highest I know of are 2.75%.  Some cities give you a discount off this tax if you are already paying a local income tax in the city where you work. 
2. Work Place Tax - several cities in Ohio charge you local income tax in the city that you work.  If you work in the city of Cincinnati for instance, 2.1% of everything you make goes to the city of Cincinnati.  You can't claim it on your taxes, you don't get a refund and you will never see that money again.
3. School district tax where you LIVE - If you live in one of the school districts that has voted in a school district tax, you have to pay this.  The highest school district tax is 2% of everything you make.  It doesn't matter if you have kids in the school or not, everyone that lives in that district pays.  Not every district in Ohio has this, so check to see if where you want to live has one.

There may be some people that gets credits on these, such as disabled, retired, etc.  I'm not sure, but for most people if you live or work in cities that charge these local income taxes, you have to pay.  I honestly don't know how they get away with this!

An average middle-middle class family of 4, would pay around $2,500 extra in Ohio taxes just because they live here!  That doesn't include the federal/Medicare/SS taxes.  You have to figure this in when you want to move to Ohio.  Check the city you live in for income tax and school district tax and check the city you will be working in.  You can't get away from the state income tax but you could possibly dodge these other local income taxes.

So why Ohio!?  We live a very nice life here despite the taxes.  It could be because of no tax on food and low sales tax (6.75%) or that housing is affordable compared to other parts of the country.  It could also be because the Cincinnati metro area is packed full of jobs and the pay is very good.  My family "feels" a very good feeling about the area we live in - it just feels blessed by God.  There are even cities named after the Bible places - so who knows LOL!  It just has a more peaceful feeling to this place and everyone I've spoken with has said they felt the same when they moved here.  Life here is good for most of the people we know.

Our pay went down $14,000 a year by moving to Ohio and we pay several thousands in additional taxes but we are still living the same level of life we lived in a higher-paying state with no state/local taxes, if not better!  We were also able to afford a home in a nice neighborhood here in Ohio.  Somehow, it is working - I just know God called us here and He can do anything!!

I was cleaning out some old files in my Google forms and came across this.  I had asked the question, "Why do you read my blog?"  I left a box for those who wanted to answer the question.  I somehow forgot to share these wonderful things that women left for me.  I decided to share a few of them.

I was very touched by reading these today and it brought tears to my eyes.  💓

1. I read your blog because I find it very encouraging! I sometimes check it more than once a day if I am on my iphone, waiting in line, etc. Or I will check it at home from the laptop, but get off if a family member needs me or a chore is needing to be finished. I really appreciate being able to access the archives because I am learning so much from your writing!
2. I was so glad when I found your blog. You stand for Biblical truth and Biblical standards and it's so rare to find that today. I have been challenged, encouraged, and blessed here. When someone asks you a question, you don't just tell them what you think about it, but point them to the Word of God and spell out what HE says. I should know, you did it for me! lol Love you and so glad to have "met" you via the internet.
3. I find your Blog to be very supportive and inspiring to me. I am living in a foreign desert land, where many do not speak my language...
   I always read your posts, although sometimes many together as I don't often have the time to spend on the computer. I don't do fb, and share the same philosophy as yourself on many of today's issues.
   I'm thankful to be raising my children here overseas in what I would call quite a conservative country, and praise God that they are not exposed to many of the trappings of today's very changed world.
   I'm older than you, and I consider you to be very knowledgeable on many subjects that many Blogs, and people for that matter, tend to avoid touching upon.
   I'm not interested in seeing some posting pictures of themselves in what they term modest dress on Blogs that they claim are Christian. I'm not interested in them "adding" me on any social network. In fact, I really dislike "Social Networks" and would rather "follow" people who share my viewpoints and priorities. I want to learn new practical ways to help me at home, and how to discuss certain subjects with my children. I'm not interested in hearing how someone crawled home in a stupor in the wee small hours. Would they be comfortable about mentioning that in their Church?
   I've seen tried out and enjoyed some of your recipes, (more please!!) have listened to your recommendations on homeschooling curricula and would like to thank you Beth because I do find your Blog inspiring and encouraging.
   God bless you for everything that you do. God will reward you in Heaven.
4. I am from NC. I have commented a few times. I always look forward to new posts. I will admitt that I don't read all of your posts. My husband and I are empty nesters and have been for years. I usually don't read your homeschool posts because that is something that I am not involved in. I find your blog VERY much worth my time. You do inspire and encourage me in many ways. We don't always agree on matters of religion but that's ok. We do agree on the main issues. I love the homekeeping posts. You have taught this old dog some new tricks.LOL You are very blessed and I pray that God continues to bless you and your dear family.  
5. I have been reading your blog for the past year because it inspires me to be a better wife and christian especially in a time where true christian values are becoming lost amongst the ways of the world! I am about to become a mother and i will continue to be inspired by your blog and encouraged to follow the truth and what's right. I do love your honesty and passion to live by the word and do things God's way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stories with us all
6. As a young mother of 3 small children, I have found that my 'new' ideas are not really that innovative and that at some point in the past a mother/wife thought of it already. I like to follow a few blogs written by God-fearing women and mothers who understand God's calling for their lives as wives and mothers to gain the knowledge they have acquired. It feels like I have all these wonderful wise friends encouraging/teaching me to do the right thing! 

These were recently added:

• Why I read your blog? One of the main reasons I read your blog is because as a Christian woman I try to live my life according to God's will, I struggle daily and when I read your blog I feel like you hit on many of the issues that we women in todays society are facing. You bring up day to day topics that non Christians just don't get.My biggest help has been that you get how it is to place your husband at the head of the family. Some of my friends and family don't understand that I am not being a door mat, i am just letting my husband do as God willed. I do have to tell you that I miss not seeing your blog on a more regular basis. I get it, with 2 children and home schooling and hubby you have to be so busy. 
• I would have to say that I read your blog because it has really inspired me along with the word of God to be the best wife and mother that I can be. You blog on topics the are real in all of our lives with out sugar coating nothing. Life as a wife ,mother ,church member , family ,and friend does get hard but I can always look back at your blog and find a post that encourages me to continue on my journey living for God and taking care of my family. As a regular commenter on your blog I know that you just like Tealady stated above can related to our struggles from outsiders looking in and not understanding why we let our husbands lead the Home. Ok I could go on and on but I’m not lol I am trying to get the littlest one to bed. But I’m glad that you would like to do a reader appreciation for those of us that read your blog but to me it’s not needed because we love your blog and we learn so much from it. but it’s your blog and you can always do what you like Lol .But I would like to personally let you know I appreciate you and how you allow the Lord to use you to inspire other women to stay meek and holy.
• I do not live in the US... I would just like to say that your blog has taught me a great deal. It is like having a friend to guide me through the day with your invaluable and practical inspirational and informative posts. God bless you
• Hi, I find your posts to be very true to life. I like your writing style. Your 'Defined by God' post helped me in pinpointing the basis of my own blog...I'm almost done with the rebuilding of my site. Thanks! I like how you encourage me to be a better wife. Your writings always come at the right time that I need them. 

Thanks to all my readers, I really do appreciate you!

My phrase and life focus for this New Year of 2018 is Defined by God.  No longer will I allow, and live my life, as defined by others.  No longer will I allow others limitations and judgements of me, define me.  No longer will allow my past and mistakes, failures, or sins define me.  No longer will I succumb to the enemy and his lies and let them define me.  No longer will I let others lord over me and thereby define my life, schedule and choices.  No longer will I let my feelings define who I am.  I will be defined by God!

In 2018, I will endeavor to be what God wants me to be.  I want to be authentically what God has defined me as being.  I will identify with Christ.  I will pursue my destiny, of that which, God has planned for me from the moment he formed me.  God is limitless in what He can do and I will not allow anyone to hamper my life in Christ by placing a ceiling of immobility over me.

If someone would have told me this year would hold all it did, I wouldn't have believed them.  I had no idea what my phrase at the beginning of this year would really mean.  My phrase was, "Let It Go and Embrace the New!"  It is amazing to re-read the post I wrote at the beginning of the year that I received in prayer and look at how well it fits the past year.

There were so many things that my family and I let go of and so many new things we embraced as new.  We truly experienced a powerful newness to our life.

God told my husband to go a different route with our life and we did and God really has been showing us we have a future doing a work for Him.  There is no longer a ceiling above us saying we can't do anything, if anything, God is finally unlimited in what He can do.  Do whatever God tells you to do, follow His Voice and you will find He opens doors, provides and does all manner of miracles as you walk in faith!

We also had some challenges this year, one was my husband losing his job due to company cuts.  However, my husband said, that is ok, God will open another door and put applications in and was going to a lot of interviews.  Then, he finds out management at his job, along with other top people that knew him, said they can't let him go.  They got a lawyer involved and found a workaround with the union to keep my husband's job.  Not only that but he got moved to a new position and making more.

At the beginning of this year, I was finally able to face my fear and sing in front of people thanks to our previous Pastor here.  He helped me in more ways than any Pastor I ever had by putting confidence in me.  I'm forever grateful for what he did for me.  The first song that I sang was, "I'm no Longer a Slave to Fear."  It was powerful and I wasn't even nervous!  It was a major victory for me to break through my insecurities and just be who I am.

We also traveled a lot, putting about 20K miles on our car this year.  We made new friends, went to revivals, youth events for our daughter and visited family.

We have experienced a lot of growth this year in our faith in God, standing in God and becoming aware of our destiny in God.  It was truly a year of letting go and embracing the new.  What a year!

I will leave you with the song that started my freedom in January, I sang this version of it:

I'm not going to get into a war of the scriptures on this topic, as I believe, as with all things, there are some things that are the exception to the rule.  I also believe that God can allow whatever He will when He sees fit for each circumstance.  No one knows what goes on in a marriage, save the ones in it and God.  You have to be VERY careful when you make blanket judgements in this area.  I for one, believe it is solely between the individuals involved (husband and wife) and GOD - no one else.

Some possible exceptions:

• Abuse from spouse - if the women (or man in rare cases) is being abused by the husband, I do not believe God would force this women to stay married to such a man, nor do I think she is doomed to a life of singleness if she leaves him.
• Abuse of children - if the spouse is abusing the children, the other spouse should take the children away and protect them.  You can't tell me that God would make a woman stay with a man that is molesting his/her child!  You have to be pretty sick to believe that.
• Arranged Marriages - this isn't common in our country but I do know people who were coerced into marrying someone they didn't want to.  I personally don't feel that the marriage is valid.  Things like this can happen in religious cults of all kinds or certain cultures.  I definitely do not feel that a child being "married" to an older man against her will (or even because she isn't old enough to understand what she is doing) is valid either.  These type of marriages are made out of control, manipulation or force.  How can they be valid?
• Desertion - this is where a spouse leaves you or abandons you.  This could possibly include other things as well that indicate a spouse has deserted you.  There are those that you can not live peaceably with and it can cause you to even die emotionally, spiritually and shows up in the physical body.  I've heard from some Pastors that you can be "deserted" in these ways by a spouse.
• Fornication/Adultery - most people believe you are free from your vow of marriage if the other commits sexual sin against you.  However, this also includes the mere thoughts as well, as Jesus Himself let the self-righteous Pharisees realize that lustful thoughts are also adultery. (Matt. 5:28)  Pornography is adultery (as well as covetousness and idolatry), as is lusting after someone who isn't your spouse.  There wouldn't be so many condemners of adultery and divorce if the self-righteous Pharisees realized their "private" adulterous thoughts are also guilty of the same.  I've found the men most vehement about those who commit adultery, are the very ones guilty of it in their minds.  Jesus realized that as well!  Who can really cast the stone!? (John 8:7)

What it all comes down to is that if it is a "sin" to divorce or even a "sin" to remarry - it is a good thing that God is in the business of forgiving sin!  There is only one sin that is unforgivable and that is the blaspheming of the Holy Ghost.  (Mark 3:29)

Why is it ok and "better to marry than to burn" when you are single but if you are divorced, you must burn away till you die?  No wonder people commit fornication. (1 Cor. 7:9)

YOU must stand before God and give account for YOUR life.  Your marriage, divorce and/or remarriage is between you and God, and you and God only.

Don't take other's condemnation to be the judge of your life and also don't even take other's acceptance to be the judge - judge yourself.

* Each spouse has a duty to the other and gross neglect could be considered a break in the vow. Love and forgiveness can keep couples together but when the other spouse isn't willing to change after knowing what they are doing is abusive or not fulfilling their duty, we enter new territory which the Bible doesn't include - that, along with numerous other exceptions to other topics, are not included in the Bible because if it was, it would be over 10,000 pages long!

We have discussed in Part 1 - Sexual Needs and in Part 2 - Psychological Needs.  We will now move to the last of the three biggest needs men have - Emotional Needs.

Emotional Needs

Believe it or not, men have emotions!  Now, they may not be as evident as women because we truly received more of God's nature in the emotional department, while men received more of the stability.  However, men still need their emotional needs met and it is crucial that they be met.


Let's list a few of the major emotional needs:

• Affection
• Encouragement
• Companionship
• Respect
• Intimacy

Men need affection and touch.  Some grew up in homes where affection was not given and they may not even know they need it but they will soon realize how much they needed it, once they start receiving it.  Wives be affectionate towards your husband!  Don't push him away when he comes to you for affection.  Rejection hurts but it really hurts when it comes from someone that should love you more than anyone.  There are many ways you can be affectionate to your husband besides the obvious touching, of which can be found by simply Googling.

Men need encouragement.  Life is hard and working on a job can be even harder and one that wives forget about when they have been homemakers.  When your husband comes home from work, offer him encouragement.  He will, more than likely, need it, as he has been around the ungodly all day in most cases.  My husband has remarked many times in the past of how he loves to come home to a Godly household, one that is a refuge from the world.  If you are constantly discouraging your husband, you could be destroying his spirit and emotions even further than what he already faces.

Men need companionship.  He married you, not just for sex, but also for companionship.  It isn't fun to be alone and it is better when you have two!  Be that companion for him.  Join in activities with him.  Go out with him and enjoy things together.  Stay home and be his companion just enjoying time together hanging out on the couch.

Men need respect.  This is probably the one he feels he needs the most.  A lot of feminists will not respect men at all and if they ever do, they will demand that he "earn" the respect.  God has quite a different take on this:

Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Barnes commentary on reverencing the husband:

The word rendered “reverence,” is that which usually denotes “fear” - φοβῆται  phobētai. She is to fear; i. e., to honor, respect, obey the will of her husband. It is, of course, not implied that it is not also her duty to love her husband, but that there should be no usurping of authority; no disregard of the arrangement which God has made; and that order and peace should be secured in a family by regarding the husband as the source of law.

A woman that disrespects her husband on a normal basis will wound her husband.  With respect, he can do so much that he was made by God to do, without it, he will find it difficult.


Men need intimacy.  Most people just think intimacy is sex but it isn't, it is a feeling of being connected to one another.  Men want their wives to know them, who they are and be in to them.  Think of being very close to one another in an emotional sense.  You can feel his very soul and you know who he really is deep, down inside.

A quote from Focus on the Family:

Real intimacy makes us feel alive like we've been found, as if someone finally took the time to peer into the depths of our soul and really see us there. Until then, until we experience true intimacy, we will feel passed over and ignored, like someone is looking right through us.

I think you can get a good picture of what a man needs emotionally based upon the above description of some of his needs.  This isn't all the needs of men of course but I chose the ones I thought most important for wives to make sure they meet.

I think Barnes' commentary sums it all up nicely:

A wife may easily alienate the affections of her partner in life. If she is irritable and fault-finding; if none of his ways please her; if she takes no interest in his plans, and in what he does; if she forsakes her home when she should he there, and seeks happiness abroad; or if, at home, she never greets him with a smile; if she is wasteful of his earnings, and extravagant in her habits, it will be impossible to prevent the effects of such a course of life on his mind.

You can read, Part 1 Sexual Needs here.  Now, I'm going to move on to the second need a man has and needs from his wife; Psychological Needs.

Psychological Needs

Men need admiration from their wives.  They need moral support.  They need you to be their biggest cheerleader.  They need to know you are in THEIR corner.  They need to know you are on THEIR side.  They need what God said they needed - a help meet.

Genesis 2:18

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

A lot of women will gossip about their husbands to other women.  They will also ridicule him or put him down in public.  They are his biggest enemy, if truth be told.  They are not in his corner and definitely not on his side.  I've known women that are only proud of their husbands when it makes them look good.  They are selfish and not a help-meet at all.

If everyone is against him and he can't count on you either, then you are not being a help meet, much less a wife.

I'm embarking on a new series concerning marriage.  It is much needed, and most especially in the Christian church today.  Men and women have forgotten what marriage is, how it should operate, what is needed and how to keep it.  I will be covering the husband, the wife and divorce and remarriage.  This has been on my mind since earlier this year and I pray it will be a blessing to you.


Loving Your Husband

This is comprised partly, of my opinion, based on my experience(s), combined with the Bible and psychological studies over the years.  I believe there are 3 extremely important areas of a man that must be met by his wife:

1. Sexual needs
2. Psychological needs
3. Emotional needs

Sexual Needs

I put this number one because it truly is men's number one need.  There are feminists out there that want to deny this.  There are Christian "experts" who want to say it isn't a "need".  However, I will step out and say it is NUMERO UNO to most normal men.  A man by nature has been given a sexual drive that far surpasses the female in most (not all) cases.  It is something that can only be suppressed for so long. 

The wife does not own her body, the husband does.  I hear some of you wagging your finger in the air saying that ain't so, but lets see what God said:

1 Corinthians 7:4

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband:...

Your husband should be able to enjoy you when he wants.  He shouldn't have to beg for it.  He shouldn't be denied it.  He shouldn't be put off to another time.  You should freely meet his sexual needs as often as he would like.  I know that I just upset a whole lot of women but this is really how it should be.  Our society is made up of feminists who think men have to beg for it, be denied it, earn it, work for it, etc.  That is cruel knowing that your husband's greatest need as a man is his need to be fulfilled sexually.  There are times that you can both agree to abstain for a time due to extraordinary circumstances.  I would think this would be things like surgery, sickness, moving, etc.  However, if you have a headache every time he wants it, you need to rethink your true motives toward these "illnesses" that put him off.

1 Corinthians 7:5

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 

If you defraud your husband - you will reap the consequences!  You can't deprive him of affection and expect him to feel good towards you.  I knew many women in recent years, yes Christian women, who would brag about not letting their husbands have it unless he did this or that.  I remember being disgusted at hearing them talk to one another and laugh as if it was some sort of a game.  I was thinking of their husbands and how horrible it was probably for them to endure deprivation in such a manner and also to remain pure before God and resist temptation.  These wives put their husbands in a situation that made him weak to fight off temptation.  I personally believe that they are partly, if not more so, responsible for the husband's infidelity, if he did get to that point due to his wife's defraudment.

I know this flies in the face of society and our culture but it should be the normal teaching in the Christian world.  If you truly LOVE your husband, it will not be an issue to meet his greatest need.  To not meet it, is to not love him.  You are his partner in life and you should be the one that does all you can to help him resist all that is around him.  Everywhere men turn there are women showing themselves off.  He already fights this daily and if you neglect your duty, you make it even harder for him to resist lust.  He has a hard enough time and you are supposed to be his cherished love - act like it!  If you don't love him, believe me, someone else will.

Being a Christian is a life of self-denial, being a sinner is a life of selfishness.  Wives, you have to deny yourself sometimes when your husband needs it and you don't feel like it.  Feminists want to be selfish and hold it over their husband's heads, as if they have the power.  This should not be so among Christian wives.

My husband has said he has never lusted after another woman than me in our entire marriage of almost 18 years.  He hasn't even entertained the thought.  There is a reason for that, besides simply being saved and filled with the Holy Spirit and a man of high character, - his wife meets his needs.

Disclaimer: I know there are even Christian men, who will have wives that meet their needs and still lust, view pornography (which is adultery) and commit acts of infidelity.  These men have become unbridled somewhere along the way and allowed their thoughts to be uncontrolled.  That is not the wife's fault!  I also believe if a man wants it 5 times a day, he needs to gain control of himself.  You can't expect the wife to fulfill her duty past the point of physical harm in such cases.  This would be something one should seek a medical solution to, to lower the sex drive.

Part 2 - Psychological Needs

After we became debt-free in 2011, our goal was to not buy a home until we had a good amount to put down and we had a fully-funded 6 month emergency fund.  Well, you long-time readers know my story, it was medical situation after medical situation for several years.  By 2016, we had rented for 16 years and we had nothing to show for it.  Thankfully we had good landlords who liked us and they kept our rent very cheap the whole 9 years we lived in our last place; a mobile home.  There just wasn't a time we could save up money for this elusive down-payment.  I even called Dave Ramsey and you know what he said - No way, keep renting till you get there.

Sorry Dave, but we decided to go forward and buy a home after much prayer.  The rent in the area we were moving to in Ohio for a 3 bedroom in a decent area, was just too much and would have put us in a situation of no savings.  We needed something that was 25% of our income for all that the housing entailed and housing prices were very affordable compared to rent.  We got a very low-interest rate and no down-payment thanks to being veterans.  I'm glad we did buy because now we have our mortgage locked in for 30 years and we are only using 25% of our income for housing costs (including taxes/insurance) and we can build everything else around that.  I think was the smartest thing we ever did!  I wish we hadn't waited so long to do so and just took the plunge.

We are fixing up all the regular maintenance issues that come up and it is still proving to be better than renting for us.  One thing I highly recommend to any homeowner is American Home Shield home warranty.  They have been awesome and fixed whatever came up with our older appliances.  We have the full plan that covers just about everything (HVAC, plumbing, appliances, electrical, etc.) and it is something that a home inspector we knew in WA, that was a pro, even has for his home.  Other than that, we are paying an extermination company to come 4 times a year, as we live across from a lake and have a few more insects than we care for.  We are learning to DIY with a lot of things that have come up.

You have to have a place to live and God will provide!  You either owe the landlord or you owe the bank.  With the landlord, you have nothing left to show after your years of payments.  With the bank, you will eventually own the home yourself or at least be able to sell it for the equity you have in it.

We actually bought our home without even seeing it!  The first time we saw it was when we pulled up before we went to sign the papers.  It was everything I had hoped for and more actually.  God just knows how to pick 'em!  My husband decided to heed the Holy Spirit and go to this city that God gave him in prayer 3 years prior one night.  It was the next morning after that, that this house was listed for sale.  It was in the area I got in prayer from the Lord and it had everything on my "wish" list.  It was in a perfect neighborhood too.  There was no need to go check it out.  When you go on faith - you BELIEVE and God delivers!

We didn't even have all the money to move and take care of what we needed to but FAITH got us there.  And just like that - God gave us all the money we spent for our move back.  I sit back and look over this past year and think - HOW!?  Then, I hear God say - according to YOUR FAITH!

This is our first time ever having a garage and I'm amazed how much stuff we have accumulated.  A friend said God touched his heart to build us shelves in our garage when we first moved here.  It was a blessing and all we had to pay for was the materials.  I don't know where everything would have went without these shelves!  He also built in some areas to hang the weed-eater, shovel, ladder, etc.

Here they are when they were first built:

I haven't really showed many pictures of our new house and it has almost been a year (in 2 weeks) since we bought it.  This is the first house we have bought, as we had rented for 16 years.  It truly is a blessing!  I kept waiting to get my kitchen just right for photos but I gave up on that, this is good enough.

I've always wanted white cabinets but most houses we had seen, had brown or pine cabinets.  I thought I would have to settle but then we found this house and the cabinets were white!  They were originally pine but the previous owner painted them white.  I also love the gray counter-tops and the white sink that is deep and I think it is ceramic.  I also love being at the sink and being able to see outside or into the living area.

I've prayed in earnest over the years in various situations with various people for what I (or they) perceived that they needed.  However, in many of those situations, I learned that my perceptions are not always right as I saw what happened when God answered my prayers.  I learned that God's omniscience surpasses our human capacity of perception.

Let me give you some examples of what I'm talking about.  One situation was where I prayed and asked God to bless someone monetarily for the years they went without for the cause of the gospel.  I really sorrowed over this person's financial state of extreme debt and I thought money was the answer.  However, upon God answering my prayer and this person coming into large sums of money (more than once!), they didn't use it to pay off their debt, they spent it and then went on vacations, etc.  I was so mad!  I was thinking how could they just ignore God's blessings like that (and more than once!) and not free themselves from their debt?  Then it hit me - God knew that money wasn't the answer to their problem.  Their problem wasn't a lack of money.  Their problem was a spirit of debt, greed, etc.  God showed me that I should have prayed for them to be free from the spirit of debt and greed instead.

Be careful when you pray for others.  Be careful what you perceive to be the answer for them.  Really stop and pray and wait on God to give you the wisdom on what to pray.  I've had people ask me to pray for something specific but I felt the Holy Spirit letting me know that wasn't what they needed or what they needed to be praying.  I try not to agree to their demands of specific prayer but rather tell them I will pray what God leads me to pray.  Here are some examples to help guide you in this process:

1. Praying for money for someone - be sure money is the solution!  Do they have a spirit of greed or debt?  If so, pray for their deliverance of these spirits.  Do they have a problem handling their finances?  Pray God gives them the ability and wisdom to handle their finances.  Are their money problems because they have a bag of holes because they are seeking after money more than God?  Pray they return to their first love and put God first.
2. Praying for a bodily or physical need - will healing truly heal them?  If they are wanting healing of structural or muscular issues, do they have a problem with laziness or not moving much that will still be there after healing?  If so, pray for the spirit of laziness to be removed and for God to give them the ability and desire to get up and move around more AND for them to be healed.  That way, when they are healed, they will also not continue in the same mindset as before that got them there.  A lot of our bodily and physical issues are from our own making.  We can pray for healing and God WILL heal us (He is touched by the feelings of our infirmities) but if we want long-lasting deliverance, we must pray for what caused it in the first place.  This is but one example.
3. Praying for someone to get a specific job/position - Be very careful with this one!  Is this the job or position that is right for this individual?  Is this truly what God's will for them is?  Seek God in how to pray for this situation.  I've known situations that if the person had gotten the job that they sought after, it would have ruined them.  I've also known those who did so and got the job or position, and it did, indeed, ruin them - sometimes in God and sometimes in other ways as well.  So many men are led away by this and it is combined with the spirit of the pride of life and even greed in some cases.  I liked what my husband prayed this year when he got laid off due to company cutbacks.  He prayed for God to close every door of the other companies he was applying for, if it wasn't what God wanted for him.  Not only did God close the doors but He busted open the closed door at my husband's job and (long story) after a lawyer got involved with a workaround with the union, they saved my husband's job and he is still there today.  Thank God for a man that knows how to pray correctly!
4. Praying for someone to get away from someone else - this is quite common believe it or not.  I hear it a lot: "Pray for me that I can get a different desk at work to get away from this person that is making me angry and/or causing me problems."  Is it truly the other person that is the problem?  If it was, then you moving away should solve it.  However, that is not the case a lot of the times, you just find another person that bothers you just as much, if not more.  Rather, let us pray that this person be delivered from their irritableness, lack of long-suffering, anger and/or becomes easily intreated, but in most cases the deliverance prayer needs to be that of - from pride.  There are some cases where it is best to get away from someone when the above things are not a problem with the person involved.
5. Praying for someone's child and their behavior issues - Most, if not all, behavior issues from children are because of the parent.  Behavior issues in children sometimes stem from a lack of attention from the parents, especially and most importantly, from the mother.  Many adults are walking around with mother-hunger because their mothers were not there for them - physically, emotionally or psychologically.  It is a need that MUST be met in all of us and if not, we will be prone to addictions in adult life, seeking after what only our mothers could have given us.  So - check yourself as a mother.  When I get asked this from women, I usually pray for the mother unless I'm impressioned by the Holy Ghost to pray for the child.  Another cause of behavior issues in children is not enough sleep.  Other causes of behavior issues in children could be abuse, demonic spirits or medical issues.

I could go on and on but I think you can begin to see the pattern and understanding with these examples.  The smarter we pray, the more we can help others and ourselves!  Don't let your perceptions get in the way of someone that you love and their deliverance.  Seek God and allow His omniscience to guide you into how to pray for others.

We are one month away from having lived in Ohio for a year.  I have to say that the newness has not worn off, I still love it here!  This is by far my favorite place that I have lived in my life.  God has really blessed us here.

Even though our pay was substantially lower, we are finding that the quality of life here is far more superior than in Washington state.  The income taxes are horrible here but it may be worth it because it is so beautiful here and full of life.  Did I just say that? LOL!  At least the sales tax is low and there is no tax on food.  We were able to purchase our first home before we moved here and have our first brand-new car.  I believe the time was right for us to enter into these "luxuries" and keep our debt-free lifestyle.

The kids love it here too, they are happy all the time and we never run out of things to do.  If anything, there is SO much to do in our area alone that it is overwhelming and even after a year, we haven't even touched the whole of it.  Then, there is all that is out to do just 90 minutes from here and then on - there is nothing like living in the eastern part of the US!  I was on the west coast for 18 years (Alaska and WA) and though I loved Alaska's scenery, it was horribly lonely there.  Washington was probably the worst place we have lived in my opinion, although my husband loved it but he is loving it here now possibly more than WA.

God led us in a new direction as He is showing us just what He called us to this city for, it is becoming very clear we have a purpose.  Many amazing things have happened as God opened doors to show us He is not limited in how He can use us in the future.  Our church is wonderful and the people are very loving and our oldest daughter is really growing in her walk with the Lord.  I also experienced something that I never thought I would experience in my life.  I thought that because of my past traumas in life that I would never feel like I "belong."  However, I finally feel like I belong!  It had nothing to do with my past traumas, it just had to do with being where God wants us.  I hope to blog on this very topic in the future about heeding God's voice above all and really having faith in Him.

The weather here is better than I expected.  I was thinking it would be horrible with the humidity but I've found after now living here through every season, it is not bad at all!  The humidity is hardly noticeable to me and I've only felt it "muggy" on a few days this summer.  I'm loving every season here and it is wonderful to have fall and see the leaves change - we missed that for 10 years in WA.

I think that about sums it up so far - thanking God for this city and our new life here.