Thursday, February 22, 2018

Attention Mothers: Children Are Hurting!

In light of the recent school shooting, we seem to notice just how bad it really is in children's lives these days, yet there is never actually anything done to fix it.  Taking guns away will not only NOT fix it, it will make us ALL vulnerable to criminals, who WILL get guns somehow - just like they manage to get "illegal" drugs.  Look at how crazy everyone is acting!  Fighting and pointing fingers with one another.

Everyone seems to ignore that this shooter, this orphaned boy, was hurting extremely bad.  Not only was he supposedly given up by his real, biological parents, but his adoptive father died when he was a child and his adopted mother died this past November.  It didn't stop there.  He was bullied relentlessly at school for how he acted or behaved.  He couldn't have been expected to act normally because he had already been rejected by his birth parents and then lost his adoptive parent (and later on the 2nd).  His emotions were probably running wild and combine that with growing up and hormones and then the whole ungodly, public-school culture and you end up with a recipe for total destruction of a human spirit!!!  It was brought to the attention of staff at school but no one did anything about it and that hurt him even more.  He was treated as an outcast as though it was HIS fault he was the way he was.  The poor boy was hurting and screaming for help and all he ever got was tragedy and mockery!  The woman that took over for his mother after she died, showed her main goal ONE day after the shooting - she rushed to file a paper to make sure she got his inheritance form his dead mother, to the tune of $800,000 and she quickly tossed his brother involuntarily into a mental institution.

What we have here is not a case of an evil boy destined to kill.  We have a very, very hurt boy, who through hurts, rejection, abuse and having those who cared for him taken away, had an open door for demons to come in one by one.  Full of demons, he did whatever they said and did the unthinkable.  He could now finally have PROOF that he was a very bad boy unworthy of love.  God help him, deliver him from his demons and let him feel that he is loved by someone - by you, God!

Public school is a place that Satan rules and God isn't allowed.  The place where teachers spew their biased, liberal, anti-God rhetoric in between bites of actual book learning.  What kind of things should we expect out of such a place!?  It is full of children, whose mother's have shuffled the responsibility of their education off to others (and forced us all to foot the bill for it) and chased the mighty dollar and career.  It is full of children hurting because they are without love and care and just want their mommies!  They are hurting so bad, they start hurting each other by bullying.  All bullying is, is hurt children taking it out on others, what they themselves don't understand.

What is so appalling to me and always has been, is that people that call themselves Christians, freely hand their children over to these prisons of evil.  They boast in unison of how they are "free" of their hindrances, so they can do other things, you know... important things like sitting on their rump, scrolling through Facebook or posting lascivious photos of themselves so another man can lust after them.  Meanwhile, little Johnny's head is being filled up with all manner of anti-God rhetoric and learning to love the "world" as he desperately tries to fit in to this culture called the public school.

It isn't just school choice.  Little Johnny doesn't even know what is a man or woman anymore and his mother sure isn't helping by dressing like a man and working like a man!  Women are partly the cause to this gender confusion, they, quite frankly started this mess by cross-dressing.  Children are CONFUSED and roaming the school halls for answers.

Mothers need to quit their jobs, put on feminine dress and act like a woman and school their own children!  There is no better place than the place where God ordained children to be - at home with their mothers.  When you wake up and realize just what you have caused, you should weep, repent and make it right if there is still time.  If your children are already grown, you can still weep and repent and take it before the courtroom of the Almighty God and ask Him to fix what you messed up.  Then, warn others - like I'm doing because my own mother told me to in her stead.

*It should be noted that we probably will not end school shootings, as it is nothing new.  The first school shooting was in 1764 by Indians, with a student doing the shooting by 1840.  This post is to bring attention to mothers to help prevent their own children from being so hurt to do such an act.

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

What God Leaves Out

There are exceptions to a lot of things in the Bible that God did not include.  Had He included them, the Bible would have been enormous.  There are some that say there are no exceptions to anything.  Let's look at two views on this:

  1. Only what is IN the Bible
  2. There are exceptions to certain things

Only what is IN the Bible; No Exceptions

A lot of people think they believe this but when we start breaking down things, they realize they don't.  However, for this post, let's say that we believe this and there are NO exceptions to anything that isn't laid out in the Bible.  Let's take a few topics:

  1. Divorce - the Bible only states divorce lawful in the case of death or adultery, and desertion if the unbelieving depart.  If your spouse beats you or molests your children, you have to remain married and not depart because God didn't give this exception.  If you were forced into your marriage as an 8 year old child, you can't divorce or depart because God didn't give this exception.  If you are sold to a man for marriage, you can't divorce or depart because God didn't give this exception.  
  2. Don't forsake assembling - if the church or leaders decide to assemble, you can not forsake, no exceptions.  It doesn't matter if you are sick, in the hospital on your death's bed - God didn't give an exception.
  3. Obey husband in everything - if he tells you to stay awake for a week and not sleep, guess what?  You better do it, God didn't give any exceptions to this, He said "everything".  If he tells you to be a prostitute, curse, smoke, etc. you have to do it - God didn't give any exceptions.
  4. Obey them that have the rule over you - in regards to Pastors, if a Pastor tells you to do it, you have to.  God didn't give any exceptions.  If he tells you to quit your job and give him all your money, you must, there are no exceptions.  If he tells you to get a vasectomy or prevent children, you must obey him, there are no exceptions.
  5. Be content with your wages - don't ever ask for a raise or seek another job, God said be content with your wages, no exceptions.

I really hope you are seeing just how illogical it would be to think that God has no exceptions to certain things!

There are exceptions to certain things

  1. Divorce - I went over this in this post: http://www.christianhomekeeping.com/2017/12/marriage-101-divorce-and-remarriage.html
  2. Forsaking assembly - 1 or 2 times a week is sufficient most Christians believe for assembling.  You aren't in danger of hell if a church decides to have church everyday and you don't go.  If you are sick, in the hospital, have a sick child, etc. these are exceptions that most people understand as a given.  You should make it a point to assemble at least once a week and be with other believers.
  3. Obey husband in everything - You wouldn't obey your husband if he is telling you to do something outside of God's will, commandments or that is sinful.  There are exceptions to this!  You would be crazy to believe there aren't.
  4. Obey them that have the rule over you -  if your Pastor tells you to do something outside of God, well obviously don't but you could also find another Pastor.  There are exceptions to this scripture.  A pastor doesn't have to marry homosexuals and on and on, even if the church he is a part of tells him to.  Obey God rather than man!  If your Pastor tells you to get a vasectomy or prevent children, don't obey him!  That goes against God's Word and His plan for families.  Find a Pastor that doesn't do things that are questionable or just plain wrong.
  5. Be content with your wages - you can be content and also change your job, ask for a raise, etc.  There are exceptions.


There are so many more we could add and show the no-exception vs. exception side of.  Please use your God-given brain when reading and living God's Word!  He gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us and teach us!  Follow His Word YES but also heed the Holy Spirit and realize God can do anything He wants to do!

There are current news stories of people who followed the letter of the law and sinned.  I'm reminded of a Pastor, who was married but lustful.  He sought out women on a lewd website and had private adulterous affairs.  However, he convinced himself he couldn't divorce his wife, he had to keep God's Word after all - so he killed her instead, so he could be "free" to be marry another woman.  There are these kind of people out there, who hold so strong to ONE thing in the Bible and forsake the others.  The issue of marriage/divorce/remarriage is one of them.  I've seen people, like this Pastor, stick to the no-divorce thing so diligently but take their bed of ease in other areas and commit all manner of sins.

We should try and follow God's Word as it is written but also realize, there may be exceptions.  This is why it is so important for Christians to be filled with the Holy Spirit, led by the Spirit and know the voice of God.

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Taxes in Ohio and Why It's Worth Living Here

Most people would look at the cost of living in Ohio when it comes to all the taxes and question why would anyone want to live there if they had a choice?  I'm here to answer the question, but first, I will tell you just how taxed Ohioans are.  Besides paying federal, Medicare and Social Security taxes, when you live in Ohio, you also have to pay:

  • Ohio State Income Tax
  • Income tax in the city you LIVE in
  • Income tax in the city you WORK in
  • Income tax for the school district you live in

Yes, those are ridiculous!  However, not everyone has to pay the last 3 taxes but everyone has to pay state income tax.  Let's talk about the last 3:

  1. Residence Tax - there are certain cities in Ohio that charge an income tax if you live in their city.  The highest I know of are 2.75%.  Some cities give you a discount off this tax if you are already paying a local income tax in the city where you work. 
  2. Work Place Tax - several cities in Ohio charge you local income tax in the city that you work.  If you work in the city of Cincinnati for instance, 2.1% of everything you make goes to the city of Cincinnati.  You can't claim it on your taxes, you don't get a refund and you will never see that money again.
  3. School district tax where you LIVE - If you live in one of the school districts that has voted in a school district tax, you have to pay this.  The highest school district tax is 2% of everything you make.  It doesn't matter if you have kids in the school or not, everyone that lives in that district pays.  Not every district in Ohio has this, so check to see if where you want to live has one.

There may be some people that gets credits on these, such as disabled, retired, etc.  I'm not sure, but for most people if you live or work in cities that charge these local income taxes, you have to pay.  I honestly don't know how they get away with this!

An average middle-middle class family of 4, would pay around $2,500 extra in Ohio taxes just because they live here!  That doesn't include the federal/Medicare/SS taxes.  You have to figure this in when you want to move to Ohio.  Check the city you live in for income tax and school district tax and check the city you will be working in.  You can't get away from the state income tax but you could possibly dodge these other local income taxes.

So why Ohio!?  We live a very nice life here despite the taxes.  It could be because of no tax on food and low sales tax (6.75%) or that housing is affordable compared to other parts of the country.  It could also be because the Cincinnati metro area is packed full of jobs and the pay is very good.  My family "feels" a very good feeling about the area we live in - it just feels blessed by God.  There are even cities named after the Bible places - so who knows LOL!  It just has a more peaceful feeling to this place and everyone I've spoken with has said they felt the same when they moved here.  Life here is good for most of the people we know.

Our pay went down $14,000 a year by moving to Ohio and we pay several thousands in additional taxes but we are still living the same level of life we lived in a higher-paying state with no state/local taxes, if not better!  We were also able to afford a home in a nice neighborhood here in Ohio.  Somehow, it is working - I just know God called us here and He can do anything!!

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Friday, February 2, 2018

Reader Appreciation WINNERS!

The giveaway has ended and I decided that since only 2 of my readers entered, I would go ahead and give you both a gift of your choice!  The winners are:

Tealady

and

DeNiece


and

Homequeen - see note below


*DeNiece you told me you would like the blender, just email me your updated address.
*Tealady - you didn't mention what you wanted, let me know and email me your mailing address.  You can choose from the vacuum, blender or Body Shop mini gift set.
*Homequeen - I'm so sorry about it only being open to US residents, I didn't know how to ship one of these items overseas or the costs involved.  Please email me your address and which gift you would like, and I will check the costs of shipping.  I'm SO glad to hear from you!!  Is this the same Homequeen from several years ago (Heather)?  I hope you are well and so glad you are still "here" on the blog.

Thanks so much to you ladies for being long-time readers and friends!  I really want to meet you one day and I pray the Lord makes a way! 😊

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

💓 Reader Appreciation 💓

Click here for the winner

I've been blogging next month for 11 years on this blog.  I wanted to give a gift to one of my readers as an appreciation for your readership.  I'm giving away ONE of the following gifts, but you must follow the rules to be entered to win.

  1. You must be in the US
  2. You must be over the age of 18
  3. You must currently be and have been a reader of this blog for at least 6 months

*To enter, leave a comment to this post and answer the question: "Why Do You Read My Blog?" and which gift you would like to win.  When I announce the winner, you have 24 hours to email me your mailing address or it goes to another winner.  

Giveaway ends Friday at 11:59 pm EST, February 2nd!  Giveaway Ended!

Choose from ONE of the gifts below: 


Dirt Devil Stick Vacuum





OXA 4-in-1 Immersion Hand Blender Set includes Food Chopper, Egg Whisk and Beaker




The Body Shop Strawberry Mini gift set - includes shower gel, body polish, body butter, strawberry soap and bath lily


Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Readers' Answers On "Why You Read My Blog"

I was cleaning out some old files in my Google forms and came across this.  I had asked the question, "Why do you read my blog?"  I left a box for those who wanted to answer the question.  I somehow forgot to share these wonderful things that women left for me.  I decided to share a few of them.

I was very touched by reading these today and it brought tears to my eyes.  💓

  1. I read your blog because I find it very encouraging! I sometimes check it more than once a day if I am on my iphone, waiting in line, etc. Or I will check it at home from the laptop, but get off if a family member needs me or a chore is needing to be finished. I really appreciate being able to access the archives because I am learning so much from your writing!
  2. I was so glad when I found your blog. You stand for Biblical truth and Biblical standards and it's so rare to find that today. I have been challenged, encouraged, and blessed here. When someone asks you a question, you don't just tell them what you think about it, but point them to the Word of God and spell out what HE says. I should know, you did it for me! lol Love you and so glad to have "met" you via the internet.
  3. I find your Blog to be very supportive and inspiring to me. I am living in a foreign desert land, where many do not speak my language...
    I always read your posts, although sometimes many together as I don't often have the time to spend on the computer. I don't do fb, and share the same philosophy as yourself on many of today's issues.
    I'm thankful to be raising my children here overseas in what I would call quite a conservative country, and praise God that they are not exposed to many of the trappings of today's very changed world.
    I'm older than you, and I consider you to be very knowledgeable on many subjects that many Blogs, and people for that matter, tend to avoid touching upon.
    I'm not interested in seeing some posting pictures of themselves in what they term modest dress on Blogs that they claim are Christian. I'm not interested in them "adding" me on any social network. In fact, I really dislike "Social Networks" and would rather "follow" people who share my viewpoints and priorities. I want to learn new practical ways to help me at home, and how to discuss certain subjects with my children. I'm not interested in hearing how someone crawled home in a stupor in the wee small hours. Would they be comfortable about mentioning that in their Church?
    I've seen tried out and enjoyed some of your recipes, (more please!!) have listened to your recommendations on homeschooling curricula and would like to thank you Beth because I do find your Blog inspiring and encouraging.
    God bless you for everything that you do. God will reward you in Heaven.
  4. I am from NC. I have commented a few times. I always look forward to new posts. I will admitt that I don't read all of your posts. My husband and I are empty nesters and have been for years. I usually don't read your homeschool posts because that is something that I am not involved in. I find your blog VERY much worth my time. You do inspire and encourage me in many ways. We don't always agree on matters of religion but that's ok. We do agree on the main issues. I love the homekeeping posts. You have taught this old dog some new tricks.LOL You are very blessed and I pray that God continues to bless you and your dear family.  
  5. I have been reading your blog for the past year because it inspires me to be a better wife and christian especially in a time where true christian values are becoming lost amongst the ways of the world! I am about to become a mother and i will continue to be inspired by your blog and encouraged to follow the truth and what's right. I do love your honesty and passion to live by the word and do things God's way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stories with us all
  6. As a young mother of 3 small children, I have found that my 'new' ideas are not really that innovative and that at some point in the past a mother/wife thought of it already. I like to follow a few blogs written by God-fearing women and mothers who understand God's calling for their lives as wives and mothers to gain the knowledge they have acquired. It feels like I have all these wonderful wise friends encouraging/teaching me to do the right thing! 

These were recently added:

  • Why I read your blog? One of the main reasons I read your blog is because as a Christian woman I try to live my life according to God's will, I struggle daily and when I read your blog I feel like you hit on many of the issues that we women in todays society are facing. You bring up day to day topics that non Christians just don't get.My biggest help has been that you get how it is to place your husband at the head of the family. Some of my friends and family don't understand that I am not being a door mat, i am just letting my husband do as God willed. I do have to tell you that I miss not seeing your blog on a more regular basis. I get it, with 2 children and home schooling and hubby you have to be so busy. 
  • I would have to say that I read your blog because it has really inspired me along with the word of God to be the best wife and mother that I can be. You blog on topics the are real in all of our lives with out sugar coating nothing. Life as a wife ,mother ,church member , family ,and friend does get hard but I can always look back at your blog and find a post that encourages me to continue on my journey living for God and taking care of my family. As a regular commenter on your blog I know that you just like Tealady stated above can related to our struggles from outsiders looking in and not understanding why we let our husbands lead the Home. Ok I could go on and on but I’m not lol I am trying to get the littlest one to bed. But I’m glad that you would like to do a reader appreciation for those of us that read your blog but to me it’s not needed because we love your blog and we learn so much from it. but it’s your blog and you can always do what you like Lol .But I would like to personally let you know I appreciate you and how you allow the Lord to use you to inspire other women to stay meek and holy.
  • I do not live in the US... I would just like to say that your blog has taught me a great deal. It is like having a friend to guide me through the day with your invaluable and practical inspirational and informative posts. God bless you
  • Hi, I find your posts to be very true to life. I like your writing style. Your 'Defined by God' post helped me in pinpointing the basis of my own blog...I'm almost done with the rebuilding of my site. Thanks! I like how you encourage me to be a better wife. Your writings always come at the right time that I need them. 

Thanks to all my readers, I really do appreciate you!

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

2018 - Defined by God!

My phrase and life focus for this New Year of 2018 is Defined by God.  No longer will I allow, and live my life, as defined by others.  No longer will I allow others limitations and judgements of me, define me.  No longer will allow my past and mistakes, failures, or sins define me.  No longer will I succumb to the enemy and his lies and let them define me.  No longer will I let others lord over me and thereby define my life, schedule and choices.  No longer will I let my feelings define who I am.  I will be defined by God!

In 2018, I will endeavor to be what God wants me to be.  I want to be authentically what God has defined me as being.  I will identify with Christ.  I will pursue my destiny, of that which, God has planned for me from the moment he formed me.  God is limitless in what He can do and I will not allow anyone to hamper my life in Christ by placing a ceiling of immobility over me.

I won't live the life that others had/have planned for me.  I will live the life that God has planned for me!  In order to do this, I will draw closer to Him and seek Him and His will and His leading daily.  I will be led by the Spirit of God, not the dictates of man.  I will be defined as a child of God and joint heir with Christ and not subjugate to a lower level by those who seek dominion, control, manipulation and power over me.  I will arise and stand in places I was defined to stand, as promised in God's Word.

I will allow God to cleanse me of the poison of thinking on the past on what others did wrong to me.  I will not let their poison enter into my vessel any longer.  I will keep my heart pure and full of love, mercy and forgiveness.  I will pursue compassion on those that have been hurt.  I will extend a hand of love and pray for others' restoration to know a God that is loving.  I will let God define my actions towards others and let His mind pervade my behaviors.

This is my prayer, my aim, my goals for this New Year of 2018.  May God help me to fulfill every word of it with His strength and keeping power.  Thank you Lord that you have brought me this far and shown me to only be defined by You.


Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, December 31, 2017

A Look Back on 2017

If someone would have told me this year would hold all it did, I wouldn't have believed them.  I had no idea what my phrase at the beginning of this year would really mean.  My phrase was, "Let It Go and Embrace the New!"  It is amazing to re-read the post I wrote at the beginning of the year that I received in prayer and look at how well it fits the past year.

There were so many things that my family and I let go of and so many new things we embraced as new.  We truly experienced a powerful newness to our life.

God told my husband to go a different route with our life and we did and God really has been showing us we have a future doing a work for Him.  There is no longer a ceiling above us saying we can't do anything, if anything, God is finally unlimited in what He can do.  Do whatever God tells you to do, follow His Voice and you will find He opens doors, provides and does all manner of miracles as you walk in faith!

We also had some challenges this year, one was my husband losing his job due to company cuts.  However, my husband said, that is ok, God will open another door and put applications in and was going to a lot of interviews.  Then, he finds out management at his job, along with other top people that knew him, said they can't let him go.  They got a lawyer involved and found a workaround with the union to keep my husband's job.  Not only that but he got moved to a new position and making more.

At the beginning of this year, I was finally able to face my fear and sing in front of people thanks to our previous Pastor here.  He helped me in more ways than any Pastor I ever had by putting confidence in me.  I'm forever grateful for what he did for me.  The first song that I sang was, "I'm no Longer a Slave to Fear."  It was powerful and I wasn't even nervous!  It was a major victory for me to break through my insecurities and just be who I am.

We also traveled a lot, putting about 20K miles on our car this year.  We made new friends, went to revivals, youth events for our daughter and visited family.

We have experienced a lot of growth this year in our faith in God, standing in God and becoming aware of our destiny in God.  It was truly a year of letting go and embracing the new.  What a year!

I will leave you with the song that started my freedom in January, I sang this version of it:



Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

An Update & Merry Christmas!

I thought I would give an update and wish you all a Merry Christmas!  I hope to write my year end reflection post and my New Year outlook post soon, as I've done every year for the past few years.

We are enjoying doing a lot of travel and seeing a lot of places, in just one year, we have put almost 19,000 miles on our new car.  We didn't used to be this active, we barely put 7,000 miles on our car every year before moving to Ohio.

Yes, I'm still happy!  I don't remember a time in my life that I've been this happy.  I'm living life and that is partly why my posts are not often.  I do eventually want to finish up the marriage series in writing about the wife's needs, I'm glad to hear from some of you how helpful it has been in your lives.  I've always said - even if it helps just ONE, it is worth it!

I will write more in my year end reflection post, until then - Merry Christmas! 😊

*I updated my Divorce/Remarriage post to better clarify some things and add "Arranged Marriages" in.  http://www.christianhomekeeping.com/2017/12/marriage-101-divorce-and-remarriage.html

Christian Homekeeping © All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Marriage 101 - Divorce and Remarriage

I'm not going to get into a war of the scriptures on this topic, as I believe, as with all things, there are some things that are the exception to the rule.  I also believe that God can allow whatever He will when He sees fit for each circumstance.  No one knows what goes on in a marriage, save the ones in it and God.  You have to be VERY careful when you make blanket judgements in this area.  I for one, believe it is solely between the individuals involved (husband and wife) and GOD - no one else.

Some possible exceptions:

  • Abuse from spouse - if the women (or man in rare cases) is being abused by the husband, I do not believe God would force this women to stay married to such a man, nor do I think she is doomed to a life of singleness if she leaves him.
  • Abuse of children - if the spouse is abusing the children, the other spouse should take the children away and protect them.  You can't tell me that God would make a woman stay with a man that is molesting his/her daughter!  You have to be pretty sick to believe that.
  • Arranged Marriages - this isn't common in our country but I do know people who were coerced into marrying someone they didn't want to.  I personally don't feel that the marriage is valid.  Things like this can happen in religious cults of all kinds or certain cultures.  I definitely do not feel that a child being "married" to an older man against her will (or even because she isn't old enough to understand what she is doing) is valid either.  These type of marriages are made out of control, manipulation or force.  How can they be valid?
  • Desertion - this is where a spouse leaves you or abandons you.  This could possibly include other things as well that indicate a spouse has deserted you.  There are those that you can not live peaceably with and it can cause you to even die emotionally, spiritually and shows up in the physical body.  I've heard from some Pastors that you can be "deserted" in these ways by a spouse.
  • Fornication/Adultery - most people believe you are free from your vow of marriage if the other commits sexual sin against you.  However, this also includes the mere thoughts as well, as Jesus Himself let the self-righteous Pharisees realize that lustful thoughts are also adultery. (Matt. 5:28)  Pornography is adultery (as well as covetousness and idolatry), as is lusting after someone who isn't your spouse.  There wouldn't be so many condemners of adultery and divorce if the self-righteous Pharisees realized their "private" adulterous thoughts are also guilty of the same.  I've found the men most vehement about those who commit adultery, are the very ones guilty of it in their minds.  Jesus realized that as well!  Who can really cast the stone!? (John 8:7)

What it all comes down to is that if it is a "sin" to divorce or even a "sin" to remarry - it is a good thing that God is in the business of forgiving sin!  There is only one sin that is unforgivable and that is the blaspheming of the Holy Ghost.  (Mark 3:29)

Why is it ok and "better to marry than to burn" when you are single but if you are divorced, you must burn away till you die?  No wonder people commit fornication. (1 Cor. 7:9)

YOU must stand before God and give account for YOUR life.  Your marriage, divorce and/or remarriage is between you and God, and you and God only.

Don't take other's condemnation to be the judge of your life and also don't even take other's acceptance to be the judge - judge yourself.

* Each spouse has a duty to the other and gross neglect could be considered a break in the vow. Love and forgiveness can keep couples together but when the other spouse isn't willing to change after knowing what they are doing is abusive or not fulfilling their duty, we enter new territory which the Bible doesn't include - that, along with numerous other exceptions to other topics, are not included in the Bible because if it was, it would be over 10,000 pages long!

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Saturday, November 11, 2017

Marriage 101 - Loving Your Husband - Emotional Needs

We have discussed in Part 1 - Sexual Needs and in Part 2 - Psychological Needs.  We will now move to the last of the three biggest needs men have - Emotional Needs.

Emotional Needs

Believe it or not, men have emotions!  Now, they may not be as evident as women because we truly received more of God's nature in the emotional department, while men received more of the stability.  However, men still need their emotional needs met and it is crucial that they be met.

Let's list a few of the major emotional needs:

  • Affection
  • Encouragement
  • Companionship
  • Respect
  • Intimacy

Men need affection and touch.  Some grew up in homes where affection was not given and they may not even know they need it but they will soon realize how much they needed it, once they start receiving it.  Wives be affectionate towards your husband!  Don't push him away when he comes to you for affection.  Rejection hurts but it really hurts when it comes from someone that should love you more than anyone.  There are many ways you can be affectionate to your husband besides the obvious touching, of which can be found by simply Googling.

Men need encouragement.  Life is hard and working on a job can be even harder and one that wives forget about when they have been homemakers.  When your husband comes home from work, offer him encouragement.  He will, more than likely, need it, as he has been around the ungodly all day in most cases.  My husband has remarked many times in the past of how he loves to come home to a Godly household, one that is a refuge from the world.  If you are constantly discouraging your husband, you could be destroying his spirit and emotions even further than what he already faces.

Men need companionship.  He married you, not just for sex, but also for companionship.  It isn't fun to be alone and it is better when you have two!  Be that companion for him.  Join in activities with him.  Go out with him and enjoy things together.  Stay home and be his companion just enjoying time together hanging out on the couch.

Men need respect.  This is probably the one he feels he needs the most.  A lot of feminists will not respect men at all and if they ever do, they will demand that he "earn" the respect.  God has quite a different take on this:

Ephesians 5:33
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Barnes commentary on reverencing the husband:

The word rendered “reverence,” is that which usually denotes “fear” - φοβῆται  phobētai. She is to fear; i. e., to honor, respect, obey the will of her husband. It is, of course, not implied that it is not also her duty to love her husband, but that there should be no usurping of authority; no disregard of the arrangement which God has made; and that order and peace should be secured in a family by regarding the husband as the source of law.

A woman that disrespects her husband on a normal basis will wound her husband.  With respect, he can do so much that he was made by God to do, without it, he will find it difficult.


Men need intimacy.  Most people just think intimacy is sex but it isn't, it is a feeling of being connected to one another.  Men want their wives to know them, who they are and be in to them.  Think of being very close to one another in an emotional sense.  You can feel his very soul and you know who he really is deep, down inside.

A quote from Focus on the Family:

Real intimacy makes us feel alive like we've been found, as if someone finally took the time to peer into the depths of our soul and really see us there. Until then, until we experience true intimacy, we will feel passed over and ignored, like someone is looking right through us.

I think you can get a good picture of what a man needs emotionally based upon the above description of some of his needs.  This isn't all the needs of men of course but I chose the ones I thought most important for wives to make sure they meet.

I think Barnes' commentary sums it all up nicely:

A wife may easily alienate the affections of her partner in life. If she is irritable and fault-finding; if none of his ways please her; if she takes no interest in his plans, and in what he does; if she forsakes her home when she should he there, and seeks happiness abroad; or if, at home, she never greets him with a smile; if she is wasteful of his earnings, and extravagant in her habits, it will be impossible to prevent the effects of such a course of life on his mind.

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Monday, October 30, 2017

Marriage 101 - Loving Your Husband - Psychological Needs

You can read, Part 1 Sexual Needs here.  Now, I'm going to move on to the second need a man has and needs from his wife; Psychological Needs.

Psychological Needs

Men need admiration from their wives.  They need moral support.  They need you to be their biggest cheerleader.  They need to know you are in THEIR corner.  They need to know you are on THEIR side.  They need what God said they needed - a help meet.

Genesis 2:18
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

A lot of women will gossip about their husbands to other women.  They will also ridicule him or put him down in public.  They are his biggest enemy, if truth be told.  They are not in his corner and definitely not on his side.  I've known women that are only proud of their husbands when it makes them look good.  They are selfish and not a help-meet at all.

If everyone is against him and he can't count on you either, then you are not being a help meet, much less a wife.

Men need that companionship, as God Himself said it wasn't good that man be alone, he needs you!  You should constantly be looking and praying for ways that you can be a better help meet to your husband.  You should constantly be looking for ways to serve him and help him be able to conquer the world.

Proverbs 31:12
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 

Your ultimate goal in marriage should be to fulfill your duty as a loving wife and be that help meet that he so desperately needs, so that he can be what he should be.  Make it a point to never ridicule him in public or gossip about him to others.  Guard his name and his reputation with honor from your lips.  Take an interest in what he does and admire him for it and who he is.  Praise him for his manhood because men love this.  I always made a big deal when my husband kills a bug in the house acting like a damsel in distress and he puffs out his chest and says, "Move away my fair maiden, I've got this."  It is hilarious but in all seriousness, men need to be complimented on their manliness!  Men need their ego boosted by their wives and it is a healthy form of pride in themselves.  You should make them feel like they are truly your hero.

Part 3 - Emotional Needs

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Saturday, October 28, 2017

Marriage 101 - Loving Your Husband - Sexual Needs

I'm embarking on a new series concerning marriage.  It is much needed, and most especially in the Christian church today.  Men and women have forgotten what marriage is, how it should operate, what is needed and how to keep it.  I will be covering the husband, the wife and divorce and remarriage.  This has been on my mind since earlier this year and I pray it will be a blessing to you.

Loving Your Husband

This is comprised partly, of my opinion, based on my experience(s), combined with the Bible and psychological studies over the years.  I believe there are 3 extremely important areas of a man that must be met by his wife:

  1. Sexual needs
  2. Psychological needs
  3. Emotional needs

Sexual Needs

I put this number one because it truly is men's number one need.  There are feminists out there that want to deny this.  There are Christian "experts" who want to say it isn't a "need".  However, I will step out and say it is NUMERO UNO to most normal men.  A man by nature has been given a sexual drive that far surpasses the female in most (not all) cases.  It is something that can only be suppressed for so long. 

The wife does not own her body, the husband does.  I hear some of you wagging your finger in the air saying that ain't so, but lets see what God said:

1 Corinthians 7:4
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband:...

Your husband should be able to enjoy you when he wants.  He shouldn't have to beg for it.  He shouldn't be denied it.  He shouldn't be put off to another time.  You should freely meet his sexual needs as often as he would like.  I know that I just upset a whole lot of women but this is really how it should be.  Our society is made up of feminists who think men have to beg for it, be denied it, earn it, work for it, etc.  That is cruel knowing that your husband's greatest need as a man is his need to be fulfilled sexually.  There are times that you can both agree to abstain for a time due to extraordinary circumstances.  I would think this would be things like surgery, sickness, moving, etc.  However, if you have a headache every time he wants it, you need to rethink your true motives toward these "illnesses" that put him off.

1 Corinthians 7:5

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 

If you defraud your husband - you will reap the consequences!  You can't deprive him of affection and expect him to feel good towards you.  I knew many women in recent years, yes Christian women, who would brag about not letting their husbands have it unless he did this or that.  I remember being disgusted at hearing them talk to one another and laugh as if it was some sort of a game.  I was thinking of their husbands and how horrible it was probably for them to endure deprivation in such a manner and also to remain pure before God and resist temptation.  These wives put their husbands in a situation that made him weak to fight off temptation.  I personally believe that they are partly, if not more so, responsible for the husband's infidelity, if he did get to that point due to his wife's defraudment.

I know this flies in the face of society and our culture but it should be the normal teaching in the Christian world.  If you truly LOVE your husband, it will not be an issue to meet his greatest need.  To not meet it, is to not love him.  You are his partner in life and you should be the one that does all you can to help him resist all that is around him.  Everywhere men turn there are women showing themselves off.  He already fights this daily and if you neglect your duty, you make it even harder for him to resist lust.  He has a hard enough time and you are supposed to be his cherished love - act like it!  If you don't love him, believe me, someone else will.

Being a Christian is a life of self-denial, being a sinner is a life of selfishness.  Wives, you have to deny yourself sometimes when your husband needs it and you don't feel like it.  Feminists want to be selfish and hold it over their husband's heads, as if they have the power.  This should not be so among Christian wives.

My husband has said he has never lusted after another woman than me in our entire marriage of almost 18 years.  He hasn't even entertained the thought.  There is a reason for that, besides simply being saved and filled with the Holy Spirit and a man of high character, - his wife meets his needs.

Disclaimer: I know there are even Christian men, who will have wives that meet their needs and still lust, view pornography (which is adultery) and commit acts of infidelity.  These men have become unbridled somewhere along the way and allowed their thoughts to be uncontrolled.  That is not the wife's fault!  I also believe if a man wants it 5 times a day, he needs to gain control of himself.  You can't expect the wife to fulfill her duty past the point of physical harm in such cases.  This would be something one should seek a medical solution to, to lower the sex drive.

Part 2 - Psychological Needs

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Monday, October 16, 2017

Why We Bought a Home - Without Seeing It

After we became debt-free in 2011, our goal was to not buy a home until we had a good amount to put down and we had a fully-funded 6 month emergency fund.  Well, you long-time readers know my story, it was medical situation after medical situation for several years.  By 2016, we had rented for 16 years and we had nothing to show for it.  Thankfully we had good landlords who liked us and they kept our rent very cheap the whole 9 years we lived in our last place; a mobile home.  There just wasn't a time we could save up money for this elusive down-payment.  I even called Dave Ramsey and you know what he said - No way, keep renting till you get there.

Sorry Dave, but we decided to go forward and buy a home after much prayer.  The rent in the area we were moving to in Ohio for a 3 bedroom in a decent area, was just too much and would have put us in a situation of no savings.  We needed something that was 25% of our income for all that the housing entailed and housing prices were very affordable compared to rent.  We got a very low-interest rate and no down-payment thanks to being veterans.  I'm glad we did buy because now we have our mortgage locked in for 30 years and we are only using 25% of our income for housing costs (including taxes/insurance) and we can build everything else around that.  I think was the smartest thing we ever did!  I wish we hadn't waited so long to do so and just took the plunge.

We are fixing up all the regular maintenance issues that come up and it is still proving to be better than renting for us.  One thing I highly recommend to any homeowner is American Home Shield home warranty.  They have been awesome and fixed whatever came up with our older appliances.  We have the full plan that covers just about everything (HVAC, plumbing, appliances, electrical, etc.) and it is something that a home inspector we knew in WA, that was a pro, even has for his home.  Other than that, we are paying an extermination company to come 4 times a year, as we live across from a lake and have a few more insects than we care for.  We are learning to DIY with a lot of things that have come up.

You have to have a place to live and God will provide!  You either owe the landlord or you owe the bank.  With the landlord, you have nothing left to show after your years of payments.  With the bank, you will eventually own the home yourself or at least be able to sell it for the equity you have in it.

We actually bought our home without even seeing it!  The first time we saw it was when we pulled up before we went to sign the papers.  It was everything I had hoped for and more actually.  God just knows how to pick 'em!  My husband decided to heed the Holy Spirit and go to this city that God gave him in prayer 3 years prior one night.  It was the next morning after that, that this house was listed for sale.  It was in the area I got in prayer from the Lord and it had everything on my "wish" list.  It was in a perfect neighborhood too.  There was no need to go check it out.  When you go on faith - you BELIEVE and God delivers!

We didn't even have all the money to move and take care of what we needed to but FAITH got us there.  And just like that - God gave us all the money we spent for our move back.  I sit back and look over this past year and think - HOW!?  Then, I hear God say - according to YOUR FAITH!

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Sunday, October 15, 2017

Garage - Home Tour Photos

This is our first time ever having a garage and I'm amazed how much stuff we have accumulated.  A friend said God touched his heart to build us shelves in our garage when we first moved here.  It was a blessing and all we had to pay for was the materials.  I don't know where everything would have went without these shelves!  He also built in some areas to hang the weed-eater, shovel, ladder, etc.

Here they are when they were first built:





Then, what our garage looked like with what was left to store:



I did the best I could with what I had.  One of the white cabinets is food storage and the other is art/craft/school supplies.  We have a lot of board games and they got their own bookcase.  Then, we have food storage and other items we stock up on as we can.  I also have bins full of my "skinny" clothes that hopefully I will be back in this coming year.  Then, the outside toys, yard tools, etc.  My son likes to play in the garage a lot and it is nice and cool because the garage doors are insulated, which was a bonus that was included with our home.  Then there is all the homeschool-related stuff - and it is a LOT!  We have been saving everything for our son and I'm so glad I did.

A lot of this still out with no where to go, is to sell or throw away.  I haven't finished everything but here is what we have so far.  The shelves are full as you can see.  You can see the garage floor! 


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